


Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

by Mster70



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (but Rey has a ten pack probably), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Badass Rey, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gym AU i guess, Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, Lots of Working Out, Rey would kick your ass, Smut, a touch of angst, and definitely Kylo's ass, and my ass, i heard that kylo ren was shredded, that kylo ren has an eight pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:51:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5810722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mster70/pseuds/Mster70
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey works out for a lot of reasons, really. It's a physical thing, sure - she likes to feel strong and independent and like she can protect herself. But it's mental, too, something that de-stresses her and helps her regain her focus when she's had a rough day. She'll admit she can get a bit particular about her gym habit, and when some random dude (who wears head-to-toe black to the gym - who <em>does</em> that?) starts showing up and throwing off her workouts, Rey finds herself equal parts frustrated and confused. Because even though he seems like a total bag of dicks, he's very good looking and for some reason Rey can't shake the weirdly strong attraction she feels for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea popped into my head after watching [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7WqhvKFlI4) of Daisy Ridley being a total badass training for her role as Rey and also after watching Adam Driver’s character on _Girls_ working out and being shirtless a lot [(like in this clip)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyzUG2nyf5k) in seasons 1 & 2\. As is becoming a theme in my writing, the “little” idea got away from me and was suddenly a 12,000+ word story. Oops? 
> 
> Rey's workout playlists:  
> [Cardio House Beats](https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/wst/situations/Lsiigmankbjvle7jnnuadn7ym2m)  
> [Massive Pop Hits: The Remixes](https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/wst/situations/Ltenv7tjpyoxnanlz5hd24pa26e)
> 
> Kylo's workout playlists:  
> [Thrash Metal Shred](https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/wst/situations/Lrzi4mur3qtnncqg75hp63xb754)  
> [Heavy Metal Workout](https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/wst/situations/Lcwg73w3bd64hsrgarnorif52ru)

Rey’s been going to Resistance Gym for over two years now, and she likes to think her routine is pretty well-established.

Today is like any other; she arrives at the gym at three pm sharp, after her classes are finished and she’s had a chance to stop home for her gear and post-workout protein shake mix. She changes with military-like efficiency in the women’s locker room, donning dark grey leggings and a non-descript flowy white tank, slipping her phone into her armband, her headphones into her ears, and hitting shuffle on her workout playlist as she walks into the weightlifting area of the gym facility.

The place is pretty standard, as far as gyms go. One corner of the room (her favorite corner, really) houses the free weight equipment, a few benches and racks of free weights resting on a worn blue vinyl mat. Another part of the room boasts a wide variety of weight machines, which work well but clearly have seen better days, spots of rust poking out from chipped white paint in some places. One wall is dominated by a line of cardio equipment, treadmills and ellipticals and bikes lined up precisely. There aren’t any fancy machines with built-in TV screens, and there’s usually one or two pieces of equipment with an _out of order_ sign at any given time. The place isn’t fancy, but it gets the job done. The fees are minimal compared to some of the gyms Rey had looked at when she moved to town for college, and it has the added advantage of being on the bus route that goes directly to her apartment. Rey loves the place despite its flaws, really, and it’s become her second home. She breathes in the familiar scent of sweat, vinyl, and disinfectant spray, her body already starting to thrum with the anticipation of the coming endorphin rush as a bass-heavy Crystal Castles song plays through her earbuds.

She stops dead in her tracks when she sees him, using _her_ free weight set and _her_ bench. The ones she uses every single day, at the exact same time, and although they may not really _belong_ to her, there’s some sort of unspoken agreement between herself and the other patrons of the gym that the two square feet of worn vinyl mat is Rey’s kingdom from 3:05 to 3:25pm.

Not about to let this jerk-off ruin her workout, she takes the only other available bench (which, to make things worse, is the one next to _him_ ) and grabs two thirty five pound dumbbells from the rack to start her first set of chest flyes. She turns up the volume on her phone to drown out the grunts of the tall man next to her as well as the heavy metal music leaking from his headphones.

When she gets up to return the weights to the rack after her sets are completed, she gets a better look at the usurper. He’s wearing all black, and she barely resists rolling her eyes at his monochromatic outfit - unremarkable baggy black sweatpants with an equally unremarkable black t-shirt that’s neither tight nor loose, even his headphones are black, for fuck’s sake. Of course he’s the kind of guy who wears over-ear Beats to the gym like he fancies himself to be in some sort of recording studio and not in a gym that’s honestly seen better days and then proceeds blast some sort of nondescript distorted guitar noise like everyone else wants to listen to _that_ , too. His (again, black, she’s sensing a theme here) hair is long, pulled back from his face with an elastic headband. Rey grudgingly admits to herself that he _is_ nice to look at; he’s well-built, the fact apparent despite his loose clothing, and his features are sharp and angular in a way that makes him somehow more interesting to look at despite their slightly exaggerated scale.

Rey hurries back to her bench before he can catch her looking (and it is just _looking_ , definitely not _staring_ , thank you very much) and sets up the self-spotting bar so she can do squats.

She finishes the rest of her weight routine in the usual fashion, the dark haired man leaving a few minutes before she finishes. She had half expects him to be the kind of grade-A dickhead that doesn’t wipe down the equipment after getting his gross sweat all over it, but she’s pleasantly surprised when he cleans the bench and weights almost meticulously, the cloying smell of disinfectant nearly making her lightheaded. He does, however, leave the rag he used to wipe everything down hanging off the end of the bar, and not all the weights he used had been put away. It’s all too typical, really, for someone like him to walk in here like he owns the place and leave messes for other people to pick up. She sighs and shakes her head, but reracks his weights and tosses the damp rag into the laundry bin anyway after she finishes her own clean up routine.

He’s on one of the treadmills when she finally makes her way downstairs to the room with the heavy bags for her cardio workout. She tries not to look his way as she walks out, she really does, but they lock eyes as she strides past the row of exercise machines, his dark eyes boring into hers with an unexpected intensity that makes something low in her stomach twist and bloom with heat.

It’s not really fair to the heavy bag, which didn’t do anything wrong, but she can’t help but take out her confusing mix of emotions on the poor thing that afternoon anyway.

 

The next day, she arrives in the weightroom and sighs in relief when she sees her usual spot to be distinctly free of tall, long-haired men. Most of said relief disappears when she sees who’s on the bench next to hers, doing bicep curls and again wearing all-black. This time, it’s a loose tank and sweats, and Rey resolutely does _not_ let her eyes linger on his (rather impressive) bared arms and shoulders. She reaches to turn up the volume on her phone, needing the heavy bass to distract her from the man working out next to her so she can focus on today’s set of deadlifts.

She’s hauling the weights over to her section of mat when the dark haired man steps in front of her, lips moving even though Rey can’t hear a thing over the Diplo song thumping in her earbuds. She reaches up to pluck one out of her ear, then, figuring it’s the polite thing to do at the very least.

“Sorry. What were you saying?” she swings the twenty five pound weight up to her chest, gripping it with both arms crossed over the large black disk.

“I was asking if you needed a spotter for your lifts. It looks like a pretty significant amount of weight and I’ve seen my share of weightlifting injuries. They’re not pretty,” his voice is surprisingly deep, and Rey is _almost_ distracted enough by the low timbre and the mesmerizing sight of his lips moving to not realize what he’s saying.

He’s probably just trying to be considerate, but Rey’s had enough shit from enough people (men especially) when it comes to what she can or can’t do at the gym and in her life in general. She doesn’t really want to snap at him, truly, but it had been a rough day and she has trouble not being blunt on even the best of days.

“I don’t _need_ anything from you, thanks, and I’ll have you know that this is my off-day and I’d usually be lifting heavier. I’ve been doing this for years without a spotter and been just _fine_.” She’s aware of how her words must had sounded after they leave her mouth but she’s still a bit surprised when she sees his expression harden as he picks his weights back up to start another set of curls.

“Sorry I asked, then,” he’s not even looking at her when he says it, and the words are flat and nearly emotionless. She shrugs as she finishes carrying the weights to her mat, putting the weights on the bar and beginning her first set of deadlifts, losing herself in the burn of her muscles and the technique of the lift.

She tries to focus on her workout as much as possible, but he still nags at the back of her mind no matter how many reps she does. Rey can’t help but wonder if she’ll be seeing more of this man who can’t seem to decide if he’s a goth or a bodybuilder; but even more confusing is trying to decipher is which way she _wants_ it to be.

 

On Fridays she always participates in the gym’s kickboxing class. It’s gotten to the point where _she_ could probably be the instructor, really; it’s a nice change from her regular workout and she enjoys the camaraderie of exercising with a group every once in awhile. It’s also a great de-stresser after a hectic week of lectures, labs, and exams like this one had been.

The class is due to start in two minutes, and Rey’s giving her shoelaces one last tightening and pushing another bobby pin into her hair when _he_ walks into the mirrored room. Her heart sinks as something flutters in her stomach, her own body even confused about how to react to the man she’s been seeing with an alarming regularity the past few days. This class is supposed to be something fun for her, though, and she’s determined not to let _him_ being here ruin it for her. Anyway, he might actually make the class more entertaining given that most men who attempt the kickboxing moves for the first time (especially the tall and lanky ones) make a fool of themselves more than anything. Rey has no moral issues with getting a good laugh out of it if he makes an idiot of himself during class.

Midway through the hour-long session, though, Rey realizes that she is not in fact going to get any laughs at all out of the tall man’s performance. He’s postioned in the front row, like she is, only on the other side of the room; she can see him clearly in the mirrored wall in front of them, and he’s nailing every move, not missing a step or exhibiting anything but perfect form. She can’t decide if she should be disappointed or impressed, and eventually just settled on being angry that he was here in _her_ class.

After the kickboxing class has wrapped up, the participants filtering out of the room as a new group floods in to move the bikes out for spin class, Rey walks to grab a towel and wipe the sweat off her face and neck. Her hair had fallen out of each of the three buns she had put it in before class, which was typical. She really had to figure out some kind of hairstyle that would actually stay put through all the jumping and moving that this class involved. Rey’s squirting water into her mouth from her bottle when she turns around at the approach of someone behind her, expecting the instructor or perhaps one of the regulars who she sometimes chats with after class.

When she turns, though, she has to crane her neck up to look in the face of the raven-haired man. Her smile falters, and she can’t help but blurt -

“Are you fucking _following_ me or something?” Her arms automatically cross over her chest defensively, because this man has tainted her workouts for the past three days and she is _not having it_.

“Following you? Why would you think --”

“Because I’ve never seen you in my _life_ and then all the sudden you’re at the gym at the same time and place as me three days in a row.” Her gaze dares him to deny it.

“I’ve been going to this gym for six months now. My daily schedule recently changed so I’m coming here at a different time. I’ve been doing kickboxing class for four months, just during the six o’clock session. I don't know why I have to justify myself to you, and I honestly don’t _care_ enough to be _following_ you. This isn’t _your_ gym and you don’t get to decide who works out here, or when or where.” The man’s voice is quiet, but intense, and the complete plausibility and sense behind his argument takes the wind from her sails. She fights back a blush, realizing that she was being embarrassingly immature about the whole thing, which in turn only pisses her off more.

“Whatever. I don’t really want to have this discussion with you,” She shrugs, looking away and desperately desiring to be somewhere, _anywhere_ , else right now. She hadn’t really planned on a verbal confrontation at the back of a spin class, and after the week she had had it was really the last thing she needed right now.

“Likewise,” he responds quickly, bending down to grab his gym bag (which Rey is a bit surprised to see is in fact dark red, and not black as she might have expected) “but you better get over the fact that I _will_ be here at the same time as you, probably every day, and I’d prefer not to have my motives questioned by some uppity little undergrad who thinks she somehow dictates everyone’s schedules around here.” He’s turning to leave, miniature rant apparently over, when something odd crosses his face.

He sticks one (absurdly large, really) hand out to her, raising an eyebrow as if in challenge. She takes the proffered hand, her grip iron-tight. “Kylo,” he says, “I’m not sure if I can say it’s _nice_ to meet you, but --”

“Rey.” she bites out, cutting him off. If he’s going to try and act all high and mighty now, she’s about 3000% done with him and his shit and wants nothing more than to get out of this damn mirrored room where she can’t be distracted by the reflection of his (admittedly phenomenal) ass from nearly every angle. She pulls her small hand out of his grip, slinging her own bag over her shoulder and walking past him and out the door.

As she’s riding the bus back to her apartment, she turns up her music loud enough to almost hurt in an attempt to try and forget the unmistakable spark that had traveled between them when their skin met. She didn’t have the time or the energy for this kind of _thing_ with a guy, really, dancing around animosity and attraction - and what the fuck kind of name is _Kylo_ , anyway?

 

“It sounds to me like you guys would have some pretty awesome hatesex,” Poe says conversationally, cutting off Rey’s rant about the tall man from the gym and prompting a loud exclamation from Rey and Finn both.

The three of them, two college roommates and Finn’s older boyfriend, are spending their Friday night as usual, curled up on the shitty couch they had rescued from a curb with some generic romcom droning in the background.

“What? Is it really that unreasonable? He's very good looking - you've admitted that yourself, Rey - and you clearly have some sort of attraction between the two of you. Plus you kind of despise each other, so all the prereqs for angry boning are present and accounted for.” Finn snorts with laughter, conceding that Poe _does_ have a point.

“I don't know anything about the guy other than he works out a lot, listens to awful metal music, wears all black, and has a dumb name. He could be a serial killer or have an STD or be married or gay or celibate, for all I know.” Rey shoves a handful of popcorn into her mouth as she speaks, pulling her worn fleece blanket tighter around her shoulders. “Besides, I don't have time for something like _that_ with finals coming up next month anyway.” She glares at her best friend, daring him to try and contradict her on this.

Finn raises an eyebrow at her, then, throwing a piece of popcorn at her nose. “You don't have time for casual sex but you _do_ have time for an hour and a half at the gym every day?”

“Exactly,” Poe adds, “Maybe it's time you changed up your _exercise routine_ a bit,” the older man waggles his eyebrows suggestively and accompanies the comment with a crude gesture, leaving no doubts at all to what kind of _exercise_ he’s referencing.

Rey rolls her eyes at Poe as Finn lets out another guffaw. It still amazes her that despite being almost ten years her and Finn’s senior, Poe still manages to act the least mature of the three most of the time.

She doesn't really want to admit it to her friends yet, but they make a good point. She’s not _really_ so crunched for time that she couldn't fit in some more socialization, and it wasn't like she was going to pursue a _relationship_ with the man; it just had always been a convenient excuse to say she was too busy to get involved with anyone. Kylo is mysterious, has a _very_ nice body, and Rey could probably use the stress relief that a purely physical relationship would bring.

Rey wasn't sure exactly how she'd move her interactions with the man at the gym from somewhat hostile indifference to casual sex, but she isn't a rush to start anything and the chase should at least make her gym visits a bit more interesting, to say the least.

The three turn back to the movie, conversation shifting to when Poe will be done with his leave from the Air Force and what Rey and Finn plan to do over their post-finals break. She'll ask them for some advice on how to seduce Kylo later, but for now she's content to let her mind blur with the movie and the sounds of her friends’ raucous laughter around her.

 

She doesn’t see Kylo at the gym over the weekend - Rey sticks to her regular time even on Saturdays and Sundays when she could really come any time she wanted; she knows a lot of people prefer to get their workout done with in the mornings or even skip the weekend in order to make time for other leisure activities.

That isn’t an option, in Rey’s mind. It’s not like she doesn’t get invitations to social events, she certainly gets asked to spend the afternoon playing frisbee golf on the campus mall with her engineering buddies or marathoning _Orange is the New Black_ with a few of her friends from welding class. She accepts those invitations as much as possible, schedules things around her gym time, and for the most part her friends understand. Working out is a complex thing for Rey, is about so much more than fitness or staying in shape.

It had started out when she was fourteen years old, in yet another foster home with yet another family that she couldn’t seem to get along with. The older couple had one child, a high school senior who enjoyed football, violent video games, and beating up his younger foster sister.

Rey had started going to the middle school’s open gym and weight room program after school initially as an attempt to be at “home” as little as possible; she didn’t want the commitment of team sports and chess club just didn’t sound appealing. Lifting weights, playing basketball, and running also served as ways to take her mind off of her problems at home and allowed her to channel the anger she felt at her life and the foster care system into something less destructive than drugs or alcohol, which she knew some of her classmates turned to in situations similar to hers.

Her 8th grade PE teacher, who told all her students to just call her “Maz”, had introduced Rey to kickboxing and weightlifting. The slight, middle-aged woman was the most physically fit person Rey had ever met, and Maz opened Rey’s eyes to how she could use her body as a weapon, as a tool; hone muscles and balance and technique to use on a heavy bag or on another person if she needed to defend herself.

Soon her older foster brother realized she wasn’t such an easy target after all, and Rey was relocated to live with a new foster family after her defensive maneuvers left the football-playing senior with two black eyes and a broken nose.

No matter what kind of home she ended up in, good or bad, Rey kept up her routine of going to the gym to lose herself in the push and strain of her muscles. She went every day, unless she was away from town or had another obligation, in which case she would do what she could from wherever she was. She didn’t let it interfere with school, or with friends, didn’t control her diet strictly or worry about her weight. Working out was almost more for the benefit of her mental health than it was for her physical health, truly.

Being strong physically made Rey feel more resilient mentally, gave her confidence that she couldn’t be pushed around just because she had been made with a body that was small and female. Her gym routine was something she could control, a way she could create challenges for herself that felt more safe than the challenge of adjusting to yet another set of foster parents, or making friends at a new school where no one knew her name.

That was why, when she was asked how she could possibly care so much about working out, she got a little defensive; why it hurt her when people claimed she was “obsessed” or had some sort of a disorder because she craved exercise so badly. And it was why, for Rey, there was no such thing as a day off.

 

Monday is a good day for Rey. She wakes up feeling recharged from the weekend, has a great hair day, gets one of her labs back with an A grade, and Finn treats her to a hazelnut blended mocha at the campus coffee shop. She’s practically bouncing when she walks into the gym lobby, setting her phone to shuffle Grimes’ newest album for her workout, the upbeat music only further lifting her mood.

It’s just her luck, then, that she walks in to the weight room and sees Kylo at her bench. She thought he had maybe taken the hint after the first day, but then again it wasn’t like they had ever had a conversation about how and why exactly it was _her_ area at this time of the day, so he probably couldn’t be expected to know it would be upsetting to her if he was using that particular area of the gym.

In addition to being a tool just for existing in the space she’d like to occupy, though, he’s also wearing one of those damn altitude training masks, the black neoprene covering his nose and mouth. His long hair hangs loosely, sweaty strands falling in his face as he completes a set of squats with what Rey would reluctantly conceed was an impressive amount of weight.

Rey was having a great day, dammit, and it almost makes it worse that he had messed it up because it had been so perfect otherwise. She needs to make it very clear to him how it’s going to work between them if he plans to be here at the same time as she is on a daily basis.

She strides up to him, arms already crossed over her chest even though she tries to keep her voice neutral. “Did it not occur to you that there might be a _reason_ why this spot is always open when you get here?”

Kylo turns to look at her, continuing with his squats and not answering for a few heartbeats. Rey opens her mouth to repeat the question when he responds, voice sounding muffled and strange through the apparatus on his face. “No, but I’m assuming that you’re going to tell me what that _reason_ is, correct?”

“It’s because this is _my_ spot from five after three to twenty five after three.”

“Is that so? I don’t see your name on it anywhere,” and Rey can’t help but let out a little snort at that - _what is this, grade school?_ \- but predictably it only makes the man’s tone sharper as he grits his teeth and continues, “ -- I thought we _had_ this discussion on Friday, about how you don’t get to make the rules here about what other people do, or when they do it, or _where_ they do it.” Kylo’s paused in his squats, set apparently complete. He returns the self-spotting bar to the top-most position and steps out from under it, crowding up into Rey’s space, towering almost a full head above her height. He crosses his arms over his chest, mirroring her posture, and she can feel the body heat emanating off of the man with how close they are standing. Her traitorous body can’t help but respond, pulse quickening and a rush of heat flooding low in her belly.

The dark-haired man gives her a blatantly obvious once-over, then, eyes traveling up and down Rey’s body. She flushes in response and gives him similar treatment, her own gaze lingering on his chest and biceps before flicking back up to meet his stare. Rey’s thoughts derail completely at his sudden proximity and the intensity of their gaze (what Poe would definitely call _eyefucking_ ), and the only thing she can think to say to Kylo is, “that mask looks stupid. You _do_ know those things don’t really work, right?”

He lets out what can only be described as growl, reaching up to pull the straps from behind his ears and removing the mask from his face. There’s still marks on his cheeks and jaw from where the stretchy material had pressed into his skin, and Rey’s fingers itch to rub at them roughly with her thumbs. “ _Better?_ Why the fuck does the damn spot matter so much to you, anyway? You can’t work out at the next bench over? And really, why on earth do you give a shit how I train?”

“It’s a habit, alright, and everyone else who’s a regular here respects that I _like_ that spot; it’s a good distance from the weight rack and the drinking fountain, and the sun doesn’t come in through the window and glare in my eyes when I’m doing lifts!” Rey feels a little ridiculous practically shouting at the man, especially over something that is seeming increasingly petty the more she argues about it. She can tell a couple of the other gym-goers have stopped and are looking at them now and her face burns with anger and embarrassment in nearly equal measure.

“And the _mask_? Why did you feel the need to fucking call me out on it?” Rey’s eyes flick down to his lips as he speaks, and he follows her gaze, apparently getting the answer he needs.

Kylo manages to somehow get even closer to Rey without actually touching her, his voice now dropped into an intense murmur, and he bites out, “Your place or mine?”

Rey’s dumbstruck for a moment, and she wonders if she misheard him. He starts again, apparently thinking she hadn’t heard, this time through blatantly grit teeth.

“I said, your place, or --”

“Yours,” Rey answers quickly, her voice lowered. She’d made up her mind three days ago to be open to a physical relationship with this man, but she honestly hadn’t expected it would happen this quickly or this easily. She’s always been a practical girl though, one to take any advantage she can get without questioning it, so she isn’t going to make an exception now. “I’m not sure if my roommate will be home or not. Meet in five out front.”

She grabs her water bottle and stalks out of the weight room, for once leaving the gym without completing a workout. Taking the steps two at a time, she reaches the lower level changing rooms and grabs her backpack out of her locker, shooting off a quick text to Finn - _you’ll never believe who’s place I’m going to right now_ . Rey double checks her hair in the mirror, deciding to remove the triple bun style and let it hang loosely around her face, but not bothering to change out of her workout gear. She checks her phone, seeing a response from Finn: _!! i think i can make a guess. get it girl!_ A wide grin breaks out across her face at her friend’s response, and she sends back a thumbs-up icon, then stashes her phone in her bag. Her heart feels like it’s threatening to pound straight out of her chest as she jogs back up the steps and out the gym’s front door.

The girl is more than surprised to see a black Audi waiting at the curb, and until she hears the horn blare she hadn’t even thought to consider that it might be Kylo’s car. _Holy shit,_ she thinks as she gets in the car, settling into a sleek leather seat. She doesn’t think she has ever ridden in a car this nice in her entire life, and she wonders distantly why someone with enough money for a car like _this_ would come to this gym (which, as much as Rey loves, she knows is pretty run-down) when they could clearly afford the membership fees at a more upscale fitness center.

Her thoughts are interrupted by Kylo shifting into gear and pulling into traffic. She looks over at the dark-haired man and realizes with a start that he had managed to shower and change in the scant few minutes since they had been in the weight room. His hair is damp and she can detect the faint scent of his shampoo, something minty and herbal. He’s wearing dark, slim fitting jeans and a plain black t-shirt which is just the tiniest bit too tight for his broad chest and shoulders. He looks fucking great, and Rey feels a moment of regret that she hadn’t even bothered to change out of her leggings and workout tank, but quickly dismisses the thought. She's pretty sure she knows where this is going, and it isn't going to make much of a difference what she's wearing once they get to their destination. He seems to sense her gaze, and turns to give her a heated glare of his own, the intensity in his eyes sending another wave of warmth through Rey’s core.

The car ride is blessedly short, Kylo’s apartment building apparently only a few blocks from the gym and Rey thinks he probably broke a few traffic laws in his hurry to get back to his place. They don’t speak, but the tension between them is thick and it’s apparent that nothing really _needs_ to be said, intent clear between the two of them.

Kylo’s apartment building is unsurprisingly as fancy as his car, or at least it appears that was from the exterior. He pulls up in a front-row spot with a sign that reads _RESERVED - K. REN_ , killing the engine. Rey’s more than a bit surprised when the tall man practically runs around the car to open her door, gentlemanly gesture at odds with how roughly he reaches for her wrist to tug her out of her seat and behind him into the high-ceilinged lobby.

He gives a curt nod to the doorman (and Rey hadn’t realized that doormen even _existed_ outside of movies anymore) and ushers her into the elevator, Rey practically jogging to keep up with his long strides. Once the elevator doors slide shut and he presses the button for his floor, Rey’s being crowded up against the back wall, one of Kylo’s large hands on her hip while the other wraps around the back of her neck and pulls her into an intense kiss. She has to lift up onto her tiptoes to reach his mouth with hers properly, anchoring one hand in his still-damp hair and the other on the broad expanse of his back. Their tongues tangle and teeth click together in something that seems more like a battle for dominance than a kiss until Kylo pulls away with a bite to her lower lip, the elevator having dinged to signal their arrival to his floor.

Before the door opens, Rey catches Kylo not-so-subtly adjusting himself, the front of his jeans looking uncomfortably tight over the obvious (and sizable, Rey can't help but note) bulge. She had changed her mind about Kylo ruining her day; in fact, her Monday was looking better and better every second.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for all those that have read, left kudos, and commented so far - I said the smut was coming soon so I am now here to deliver :)  
> there's a touch of angst here as well, because I don't really think you can write about Kylo Ren without angst sneaking in somehow, some way.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

Kylo clasps his hand around her wrist again, tugging her out of the elevator and a few doors down the hallway. He’s fumbling with a key he pulled out of his pocket, nearly dropping it in his haste and cursing under his breath. He finally manages to get the door unlocked and pulls Rey behind him inside the apartment.

Rey doesn’t have time to really take in any of the details of Kylo’s home (but she resolves to peek around later), as she’s currently too busy being pushed up against the front door and trying to tug the tall man’s black t-shirt over his head. He steps back to cooperate, tugging at her top after his shirt’s been tossed off to the side, and Rey quickly removes her tank and sports bra in one swift move, leaving them both topless.

Kylo’s eyes darken as he takes in the sight of Rey’s naked torso, his hands coming up to cup her breasts, long fingers tweaking a nipple roughly and she can’t help the needy moan that escapes from her throat. Rey runs her hands along Kylo’s body, fingers skimming over hard planes of muscle as she sucks a bruise into his collarbone. Kylo’s hands seem to be everywhere at once for a minute, but finally settle on her ass, kneading at the flesh and pulling her against him forcefully. She can feel his still-clothed hardness pressing into her belly as he grinds against her insistently.

Rey blinks and then he’s on his knees in front of her suddenly, pulling at the waistband of her leggings impatiently. Rey takes the hint, moving to hurriedly take off her running shoes and helping the tall man to slip off her pants. He plants messy kisses and a few sharp nips on her hipbones, pulling the lacy waistband of her underwear down a few centimeters and running his tongue along the newly exposed skin before switching to a spot on her thigh or under her navel.

Rey growls in frustration. “Stop being a fucking tease, already,” she bites out, and Kylo gives her a wicked smirk in response. He pulls her underwear completely off, nearly ripping them in his haste and finally baring her to him completely. He walks forward on his knees a few paces, forcing Rey’s back up against the wall, and she has a moment of confusion before he’s grabbing under her ass and pushing her against the vertical surface fully, placing her thigh on his broad shoulder and bringing his mouth _right_ where she needs it.

There’s no more hesitation or teasing now, Kylo sucking viciously on her clit, then licking a broad stripe from her opening to the apex of her slit. Rey’s hands are helpless to do anything but tangle in that mop of dark hair, letting out a moan as Kylo grazes his teeth over her most sensitive areas, pulling back to nip at her inner thighs and soothing the bites with broad swipes of his tongue. His fingers join with his mouth as he circles two thick fingers around her clit before pushing in suddenly, the slight stretch delicious. Her mind blurs with the pleasure, but it isn’t long before she’s pushing his head away, body thrumming with the need for _more_.

Kylo looks up at her, eyes blown nearly black with lust, mouth red and slick. No words need to pass between them for either to understand where this is going. He gives his fingers one last shove inside of her, curling them up just slightly and leaving Rey seeing sparks before pulling them out. The tall man stands up and devours Rey’s mouth, biting and sucking at her bottom lip while walking her backwards towards the large grey sectional in the middle of the living area. Her fingers nimbly remove his black leather belt, buckle clanging to the hardwood floor as she pulls it free. They pause momentarily so Kylo can pull the rest of his clothing off, the long-haired man fishing a foil-wrapped  condom packet out of his back pocket as he does so. Rey takes advantage of his pause in momentum to spin them around, Kylo’s knees now hitting the back of the couch cushion.

Rey pushes him back onto the couch with a firm shove to his chest, and he goes down easily, caught off guard. She pauses for a few heartbeats to take in the sight of the man in front of her. He’s fucking _delectable_ ; Rey knew he was attractive based on how he had looked at the gym in various workout gear, but she didn’t think she had been mentally prepared for how he would look with his whole body bared for her.

She wants to drag her mouth over each and every one of the moles and freckles on his pale body, wants to map out the muscular planes of his shoulders, chest, and stomach, wants to leave angry red marks on his fair skin from rough bites and sucks, but mostly she wants him _inside_ of her, preferably about thirty seconds ago. His girthy cock is flushed a dark red, jutting straight out, and a bead of clear fluid seeps from the head under her gaze. He’s big, probably the biggest she’s ever been with, and the thought fills her with a giddy sense of anticipation.

“Like what you see?” he smirks at her, hand drifting to his cock and lazily giving it a few strokes as his eyes rove up and down her body.

“Looks nice, but we’ll have to see what you can do with it,” Rey quips at him. He's being an arrogant ass, but honestly she shouldn't have expected anything else and oddly it's turning her on just as much as it's making her angry. Wasting no more time, she puts one knee on either side of his hips, pressing their chests together and capturing his bottom lip in her teeth, biting down hard enough to almost break the skin. His hands find her hips, big thumbs smoothing over the bones of her pelvis and then he slides his palms down to cover her ass. Her fingers tangle in his dark hair, pulling the locks none-too-gently as she roughly directs his mouth to her breasts. He latches onto a nipple, cheeks hollowing at the force of his suckling as he circles around the other with a lightly calloused thumb. Rey’s getting impatient quickly, though, roughly growling out “get the damn condom on, _now_ ,” and apparently Kylo doesn't need to be told twice. He hastily reaches for the condom he'd set on the couch, ripping open the foil packet and rolling said condom down over himself. Rey reaches down, grasping him by the base and reveling in the growl that escapes from low in his chest at the contact.

The weight and girth of him feels wonderful in Rey’s hand, and if they weren’t both so keyed up she’d love to take him apart with her hands and mouth - wipe the cocky smirk of his face and leave him a wrecked mess. She catalogues that idea for another time (mentally crossing her fingers that there _would_ be other times, because Poe was right about the awesome hatesex thing) and teases the tip of his cock against her entrance, throwing her head back with a moan as he bucks up and the head rubs against her clit. “ _Fuck_ , Rey, let me get inside you already, damn it,” Kylo grunts out, a bright flush of arousal now spreading all the way down his chest, painting a mottled patch of pink on his otherwise pale skin.

She gives him a wicked smirk then, finally lowering herself onto his lap fully and guiding the tip of his cock inside of her. As she slowly slides down on him, she moves her hands to his shoulders to grip tightly, the stretch even more than what she had anticipated. If she thought he had seemed big before, he felt _massive_ now. She takes her time adjusting to his girth, and it almost makes her want to go slower so she has more time to watch him squirm with a pained expression on his face as he just barely restrains himself from bucking up into her. Her nails are digging into his skin sharply, and when she moves them she can't help but feel something feral rear up in her chest at the sight of the red half-moons she's left behind. Rey decides to take pity on him then, because she’s just as keyed up as he is and once the stretch of him inside her morphs from a twinge of pain to a slow burn of pleasure, she starts up a steady rhythm, hips canting and grinding as she bounces above him.

Kylo’s large hands grip around her hips hard enough to bruise, his own now bucking up in counterpoint to her thrusts. Rey can tell he’s used to controlling the pace, that he isn’t used to _not_ being in control. A muscle in his jaw twitches in apparent frustration, now pushing her down roughly on each downward stroke. Locking her arms around his neck, she captures his lips in a bruising kiss, swallowing his moans as she speeds up fractionally. Even in their kiss it’s a fight for dominance, teeth clicking and Kylo eventually capturing her tongue in his mouth and suckling before releasing it with a nip. His cock feels fucking amazing inside of her, and she can already feel the tension spiraling in her core, an orgasm not far off. She removes one arm from around his neck, fingers finding her clit to circle and tweak at the sensitive nub. She can’t help the high keening noise that escapes her throat once she touches the swollen flesh.

Rey’s close, dangerously so, and she spreads her knees wider on either side of his thighs so each thrust can go deeper. She loses a little leverage, but Kylo is quick to make up the difference, his hands bracing on the cushion behind him to hold his weight while his hips piston under her. It’s exactly what she needed apparently, because suddenly the dam in her breaks and she’s moaning uncontrollably, cunt clenching around him greedily as black spots float in her vision. He fucks her through her climax, punishing pace unchanging until she’s slumping forward against him, catching her breath. He reaches a shaky hand up to her jaw, tipping her face towards his to capture her lips with his. “Fucking _fuck_ , Rey --”

“Give me like, thirty more seconds, then I’m good,” she manages, panting into his mouth before tangling her tongue with his and nipping at his lower lip. Rey can feel his cock twitching inside of her, and when he lifts a hand to tweak at one of her nipples, she feels her arousal ratchet back up with a fresh wave of heat to her core and she is _definitely_ ready to go again.    

When she arches against him, her hips grinding filthily against his own, Kylo lets out a grunt and his large hands span out over her ass as he shifts and stands, Rey’s legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. He walks them into his bedroom, carrying her to the king size bed and kneeling on top of the covers. He pulls out and drops her onto her back in the middle of the bed, breath leaving her lungs in a _whoosh_ as she hits the mattress.

He looms over her, fingers circling around the base of his cock and squeezing presumably to stave off his orgasm as he looks down at Rey, legs spread to expose her swollen and glistening sex. “Going to fucking _wreck_ you,” he moans out, moving onto the bed and hovering above her, sucking and biting down the column of her throat. She’s going to have some interesting bruises to try and cover up, and she can’t help but smirk at the thought of them carrying around each other’s marks come tomorrow.

“I’d like to see you _try_ , Kylo,” she growls at him, challenge flashing in his eyes at the word and Rey mentally congratulates herself, because she thinks this might just have gotten even better. He rears up, roughly pulling her hips and dragging her pelvis to settle over the tops of his thighs. He takes himself in hand, lining up with her entrance and shoving in roughly, hipbones slamming against the back of her thighs and Rey thinks that might leave yet another bruise. The pace he's setting is brutal, and Rey already feels too fucked out after her first orgasm to do much other than lie there are take it, which she has no qualms doing for the time being. She can still muster enough energy to needle at him if need be, because she’s quickly learning that his competitive nature is going to be the best button to push if she wants it rough (which she most definitely _does_ ).

“Shit, your cunt feels so fucking good around me, so _wet_  --” Kylo says breathlessly, and Rey lets out a moan in response. She arches her back against his mattress, hands grasping the thick red comforter under her as he somehow manages to fuck her harder. The sound of skin-on-skin is obscenely loud in the room that's otherwise quiet except for their pants and moans, the study-seeming bed shaking from the force of Kylo’s thrusts. Despite herself, Rey’s a bit impressed that the dark-haired man has managed to last this long, but figures he’s probably just holding on to spite her and somehow prove himself better than her at sex. Her second orgasm is fast approaching, so she supposes she’ll grudgingly admit defeat if it means she can come again.

As if he can sense her desperation rising, Kylo shifts his hands from her hips to the back of her thighs, pushing them back until her knees are flush against her chest. He holds her legs there for a few heartbeats before barking out at her, “be a good girl and keep your legs there, and I’ll make you come again,” Rey obeys, because this angle has his cock going impossibly deep, nearly nudging up against her cervix on every thrust - though she doesn’t hold back her eye roll at him telling her to be a _good girl_. He must notice the insolent gesture, because he lets out a low growl and shifts one hand to her hip, the other drifting between her legs. A thumb rubs at where they’re joined, where her cunt’s stretched around his girth, while two fingers find her clit and Rey’s gone, so fucking _gone_. She thinks she must be babbling out some really stupid shit or making some dumb noises while she climaxes, but she really can’t help it and really does not give a _flying fuck_ because this might just be the hardest she’s ever come in her life.

Like the last time, Kylo doesn’t slow down, but she distantly hears him let out a high keen and apparently watching and _feeling_ her come apart around him is enough, because just as Rey’s coming down from her orgasm, Kylo’s hips start to stutter. He lets out a pained groan, face scrunching as he empties himself inside of her.

Rey lowers her legs, and Kylo slumps on top of her, body going lax for a few moments. He captures her lips in a sloppy kiss, then reaches down to grasp the base of the condom as he pulls out, both wincing a bit at the feeling. Her cunt feels impossibly well-used and sore, and she can only imagine how red and swollen it must look. Kylo’s sticky-sweaty on top of her, and she pushes at his shoulder forcefully because the man feels heavier than a sack of bricks. He rolls off obediently, grasping at her neck and pulling her in for an oddly intimate kiss before apparently falling into a blissed out and exhausted sleep. Rey rolls her eyes again. Typical.

 

Rey lets herself lie in Kylo’s bed for a few minutes before she musters up the energy and willpower to get up. She pads out of the bedroom and gathers her clothes from where they had been discarded only a few feet from the door, flushing at the recent memory of how desperate they had been, how quickly things had moved once they had made it inside. She peeks back into the bedroom, bundle of clothes in hand, and sees that Kylo’s still sprawled out in his bed, unconscious and looking positively _wrecked._  She can’t help but smirk at his supine form as she pulls on her clothes. She fishes around on his nightstand and finds a notepad and pen near his bed where she writes her name and cell number, impulsively scrawling _booty call_ underneath the seven digits. Poe would be proud.

She tiptoes out of the bedroom, taking a quick look around before grabbing her gym bag, which had been unceremoniously discarded by the door. Kylo’s apartment is beautiful, windows in the living space nearly floor to ceiling, kitchen immaculate granite and stainless steel. It’s also painfully bare, spartan in a way that screams more of isolation than sophistication. There isn’t really much of _Kylo_ in this space, and Rey realizes that it seems more a place he can go to sleep and eat rather than an actual _home_. There’s no pictures of friends or family, no personal touches in the decor, and now that Rey’s really honing in on it, the sense of _loneliness_ in the place is almost suffocating. If she hadn’t grown up facing the things she had - poverty and foster homes and always feeling like it was a struggle to get by - she _might_ feel a little sad for the man. As it was, she had a hard time having sympathy for someone who so obviously had the means to possess whatever he wanted, someone who had probably never felt struggle like she had.

But part of her reasons that money can’t buy real companionship or love, and despite how much she doesn’t _want_ to feel concerned over the guy she’s just slept with, something tugs at her as she turns to go. She idly wonders if he’ll be upset to wake and find her gone already. Their encounter had been so charged with sexual tension and their mutual frustration that she had to believe he wouldn’t expect her to stick around. If their situations were in reverse, though - she thinks she’d feel a little hurt if he didn’t say goodbye, in all honesty. She knows all too well what it’s like to feel abandoned and alone. It was better this way though, she told herself, much less awkward and messy. She was probably over-analyzing the whole thing and it was unlikely that Kylo would view this as anything more than casual sex and view Rey as anything more than the girl from the gym who he had taken home and fucked. Rey shakes the thoughts out of her head, deciding they aren’t doing her any good. Instead, she shifts her focus to getting home - so she could do her homework for the evening and get some dinner.

Taking one last look behind her, she closes the door to the apartment as quietly as she can and walks to the elevator, pulling out her phone once she’s inside. She dials Finn’s number, hoping he won’t mind coming to pick her up as she isn’t sure where the nearest bus stop is, the neighborhood here a bit unfamiliar. Her best friend picks up on the second ring.

“I need details, now!” Finn shouts over the line, laughter evident in his voice.

“Oh my God, Finn, can’t it wait like five minutes until I see you? I’m not having this conversation in the elevator of his apartment building,” she whisper-shouts into the phone, not able to hold back a laugh at her friend’s enthusiasm.

“So the buff goth couldn’t give you a ride home, or what?”

“I didn’t ask,” she responds, stepping out of the elevator as the doors slide open. A bright red flush creeps up on her cheeks as she passes the doorman, Rey thinking it must be terribly obvious why she had visited the building. “He’s still passed out, for all I know. I’m sending you a drop pin. Be here soon? Thanks, love you.” She hangs up quickly before he can respond, not wanting to cough up all the sordid details over the phone while sitting on a bench outside Kylo’s apartment.

She takes in her surroundings as she waits for a ride, watching two squirrels chase each other on the immaculately landscaped lawn and idly picking at her nails. After a few minutes, Finn pulls up in his beat up compact, the little rusted car looking totally out of place among the sleek models parked around the building. Rey hops in, and sees Finn looking at her with both eyebrows raised in surprise.

“You didn’t tell me mysterious gym guy was rich,” Finn asks, pulling out of the parking lot and starting on the short drive back to their place.

“That’s because I didn’t know. How would I know? I told you and Poe I didn’t know much about the guy,” she shrugs, settling back into the well-worn seat and mentally preparing herself for the next thing to come out of Finn’s mouth.

He turns to her, wide grin plastered on his face. “Alright, let’s hear it. No gory details spared. Spill it, girl.”

 

Tuesday comes and goes, and Rey doesn’t see Kylo at the gym. It throws her off, how badly she had wanted him to be there despite the fact that she had known him less than a week and had spent most of that time thinking he was a total dickbag. She still mostly thought he was a total dickbag, really, just one that made for a great hook up and was very attractive and oddly intriguing. She supposed seeing him had just become a habit, something she expected when she got to the gym, or at least that was what she was telling herself. It was too early yet for her to be considering him as a possible love interest, and she didn’t know much about the guy really, so she didn’t let her mind even go there. Rey goes through her workout as usual, lifting on her bench (one perk of Kylo being absent, she supposes) without any distractions and finishing up with a visit to the heavy bag.

Wednesday and Thursday are much the same - the gym is again sans-Kylo, and Rey feels a very unexpected pang of worry at his absence. Did his schedule change again? Had something happened to him? Did he not want to see her again after their encounter? Rey wondered if perhaps it had been a bad move for her to leave without saying goodbye after all, but then she reasoned that she _had_ left her number and it was just a no strings hook-up anyway. Whatever it was that was keeping the tall man from the gym, Rey hoped it wasn’t serious. It’s odd, how her view of him seems to be shifting without any conscious effort from her. Really, what had happened between them wasn’t reconciliatory in any way, and by all means she still should be thinking of him a a self-centered jerk - a jerk she wanted to climb like a tree, sure, but a jerk all the same. Him being absent from the gym had somehow cooled off any residual frustration she felt over his attitude, though, and her feelings towards Kylo were morphing on their own volition from animosity to ambivalence to genuine concern for his well-being. Finn would probably blame it on Rey’s compassionate nature - she had a habit of wanting to help anything or anyone that seemed sad or lonely or in trouble. Poe liked to joke that If it weren’t for the strict no-pet rules in their apartment building, Rey probably would bring home every stray cat she saw on the street. Part of her concern for Kylo stems from the fact that he seems so isolated - she wonders if there would be anyone to check up on him and make sure he was okay if he really _were_ in trouble. She still remembers what it was like to feel as though there wasn’t anyone out there who truly cared about her, and she can’t help but feel a pang of empathy for Kylo as a result of her own experiences.

Thankfully, on Friday Kylo is finally at the gym again. Her stomach feels like a mess of butterflies when she sees him lifting as she enters the weight room at her usual time, and she tries to hold back the grin that attempts to burst forth as she approaches him. If nothing else, Rey just feels relieved that she won’t have to waste any focus that could be dedicated to studying on worrying about him anymore.

She waves to get his attention, figuring he probably can’t hear too much through the noise leaking out of his headphones. He pauses in his lift and reaches up, slinging his headphones around his neck but not bothering to stop the music, which is now blaring loudly out of the exposed speakers. Rey resists the urge to wrinkle her nose at the distorted guitars, guttural vocals, and copious double bass drumming - his music taste is quite _different_ than her own, to say the least. “Hey, Kylo, thanks for not taking my spot,” she says jovially, sliding a few weights onto the bar for her benchpress set. She doesn’t hear a response right away, so she glances back over at him to see if he had heard.

Kylo still hasn’t said anything, but he’s looking right at her, and Rey is struck immediately by how shitty he looks. The circles under his eyes are nearly bruise-dark, his pallor is even more ghostly-pale than usual, and his hair hangs limp and greasy in a half-hearted miniature ponytail. Rey’s heart sinks into her stomach at the sight of him, and it hits her that she has no idea what might be going on in his life that could be getting him this down. Despite the fact that they had had some incredible sex, they really had never had a real, substantial conversation and ultimately she knows almost nothing about him. In some ways, Rey doesn’t know if she really _wants_ to get to know the mysterious dark-haired man, but she’d be lying if she said he didn’t intrigue her. It would be just as much of a lie for her to say that she didn’t care about him enough as a fellow human being to try and help him out of whatever crisis was bad enough to manifest itself in such a visually obvious way.

“Come on, let’s do some jogging and talk a bit,” Rey offers, turning off her music and putting her weights back on the rack quickly. Kylo looks dazed, and she can’t be sure if he’s thrown off by her proposal or just that _out of it_ today. Rey can’t help herself, she reaches over to the headphones slung around the back of his neck and flicks the power switch on one rounded earpiece off, sighing in relief as the music cuts out. _Maybe he wouldn’t be so angsty if he didn’t listen to that music_ , she muses. Kylo comes along to the track, even if his steps are a little reluctant, and they settle into a moderate pace around the indoor loop, slow enough that they’ll have enough breath to spare for a conversation. Rey takes a deep breath, wondering what the best way to approach this is. After a moment of thought, she settles on being her usual painfully blunt self, something that always works with Finn when he needs to snap out of a bad mood. “So, you look positively shitty today. Care to explain what’s going on?”

Kylo shoots her a murderous look and Rey has a split second of concern that she had maybe taken the bluntness a bit _too_ far this time. He responds, though, voice low as they continue to jog around the track, “Work, mostly. My boss is a manipulative, unfeeling, diabolical _asshole_ and he’s putting me under a tremendous amount of stress. I’m debating leaving the company I work for, but the repercussions could be pretty awful.”

His words leave her with a lot of questions, and she isn’t sure if now is the time to ask them or what she can say in response to try and make him feel better. She gets the distinct vibe from him that he needs to just talk it out, though - and that’s coupled with the feeling that he doesn’t have anyone to talk it out _with_ . With a mental shrug, Rey thinks _fuck it_ and starts to pry deeper. “You said _mostly_ work. What else is it?”

He gives her a strange look, then, and shakes his head slowly. “Not something I want to discuss here. And not to be rude, but why do you suddenly _care_ so much?”

Rey comes to a stop near the drinking fountain, and Kylo follows. She lets out a sigh, because even she can’t really pinpoint _why_ she wants to help him, but she feels like there’s some sort of strangely deep connection between them, something she can grasp at vaguely but can’t quite describe. “Because I know a lot about being stuck in a bad place with no one around who gives enough of a shit to ask if you’re okay, let alone try and help fix it,” she has to crane her neck up to look in his eyes, but it’s worth it to see his expression soften with her words. “Coffee after we finish our workouts here? I know a place close by that makes a great french vanilla iced breve. You look like you could use one.”

Kylo lets out the smallest hint of a smile, and Rey counts it as a victory. He gives a curt nod and she tells him when to meet her out front, jogging back to the weight room to complete her routine and telling herself that it is by no means a _date_.

 

Rey breathes in the aroma of espresso beans and fresh-baked pastries as she and Kylo enter into her favorite off-campus coffee house. The place is decorated differently than most coffee places she’s been to, all exposed brick and dark, sleek wood. Somehow it manages to still be incredibly _homey_ , acoustic music drifting out of the speakers and a smattering of black and gray armchairs arranged around low tables. She also can appreciate the privacy and quiet that the place offers, a number of booths against the walls serving as one of her favorite spots to study. She directs Kylo over to a secluded corner booth, telling him she’ll get his drink but not refusing when he insists on giving her a five dollar bill to cover it. She’s seen his car and his apartment, so she knows the man can afford to buy his own coffee.

When she walks up to the front counter, the barista looks at Rey with a raised eyebrow, tilting his head towards the dark-haired man waiting in the booth. “New boyfriend?” he asks, used to seeing Rey come in alone or occasionally with Finn and Poe.

Rey can’t help but let out a snort at the idea. “No, nothing like that at all,” but the words sound a bit hollow even to her. She gives the barista her and Kylo’s order and then moves towards the end of the counter to wait for their drinks to be made. Rey’s lost in her mind, absently twisting a lock of her hair as she runs over some schematics for one of her mechanical engineering classes in her head. She snaps out of it when she hears the barista call her name. She rushes over to grab the drinks and a blush rises to her cheeks when she sees what he wrote on the cups - _Rey_ and _Rey’s BF :)_ \- she lets out a huff and grabs a cardboard sleeve to slip over the plastic cup, covering up the offending black sharpie scrawled there.

Returning to their booth, Rey sets down their drinks and settles into her seat across from the dark-haired man. Kylo raises an eyebrow at the sleeve over his cup, mumbling something about how he thought they were just for hot drinks, but Rey just shakes her head in response and thankfully he leaves it be. Fingers drawing random swirls on the well-worn table top, Kylo appears to be in no hurry to have the discussion Rey had invited him here for. Rey rolls her eyes, because of course she has to do all the work here, and clears her throat. “So, you were going to tell me what’s going on with you, remember? Whatever it is that made you miss three days at the gym and makes you look like you have a four-day hangover?”

“First of all, I’ve been sober for two and a half years now, so you can rest assured it’s not a hangover,” Rey’s eyes widen, cursing herself inwardly for saying something insensitive (but it’s not like she could have _known_ , really) and she mumbles a quick apology, which he silences with a raise of one hand. “Second of all, I want you to understand that you really don’t need to be doing this. I appreciate it, truly I do, because there aren’t really any people I can turn to when things get like this. But I guess I want to let you know that you don’t need to get tangled up with someone like me - as a friend or a hook-up or as _whatever_ \- if you don’t want to. My life’s far from perfect.” Kylo runs a large hand through his hair anxiously, and Rey starts to see the extent to which this man’s life - the expensive car, fancy apartment, aloof attitude, and sculpted body - is a facade he’s built around himself. Rey can see someone else showing through the cracks in the mask he’s made for himself, someone who’s not always so selfsure, someone who knows adversity but has scrambled so desperately to hide it.

Rey reaches her hand across the table to his, giving it a forceful squeeze. “I think I know what it’s like to have an ‘imperfect’ life better than most, Kylo. And it probably sounds really fucking stupid and weird, but you intrigue me, and I can’t help but want to get to know you, to help you out. Even if you _are_ kind of a toolbag at the gym sometimes,” she gives him a wry smile, and a corner of his lips quirk up the slightest bit in return.

Kylo takes a deep breath, then, and tells her the story of a scared little boy named Ben Solo who tried so hard to escape the shadow of his family that he twisted and broke himself in the process. As he speaks, Rey feels something in fundamental inside of her shift.

It’s well past dark when they finally leave the coffee shop. Kylo offers her a ride, but Rey declines, longing for the comfortable familiarity of the bus ride home to help her process the jumble of thoughts and emotions in her head. He turns to go then, holding up his hand in a wave, but Rey captures the tall man in a hug, mumbling “thank you so much for sharing that all with me, Kylo, it was very brave of you,” into his chest.

Her her heart feels like it’s jumped into her throat when he drops a kiss to the top of her head. “Thank _you_ , Rey, for listening. It means a lot. I’m sorry we started out so poorly,” he pulls away, small smile on his lips. “See you tomorrow, then?” She nods and he turns to walk back towards the gym where his car is parked, and Rey settles onto the nearby bus stop bench, trying - and failing - to convince herself that she hasn’t developed a ridiculous crush (or maybe something deeper) on the type of guy who wears all black to the gym.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another long-ass chapter for you! There's some backstory in here and a bit more angst - but also fluff and some more smutty goodness to make up for it :)

“So you’re telling me that the guy actually _isn’t_ a grade-A jerkoff after all?” Finn has one eyebrow raised in blatant scepticism as he gazes at Rey over the bowl of ramen noodles serving as his dinner tonight.

They’re curled up on opposite ends of their lumpy floral couch, Rey’s favorite blanket around her shoulders and another thrown over their legs, which meet and tangle in the middle of the too-short piece of furniture. Platonic cuddling has always been a thing between them, and she finds it much easier to have a serious conversation with her best friend when they’re snuggled up together like this. Rey hadn’t told Finn _everything_ , wanting to protect Kylo’s privacy, but she had explained how the aloof-seeming man had more to him than she had originally guessed. It was always therapeutic for her to talk through things with Finn, get his perspective and opinion which often differed from hers and allowed her to look at things from a new angle. She may also have been using the conversation as an excuse for procrastinating on a lab write up, but that was a different story.

“I mean, he did some shitty stuff in the past, and he still kind of has a bad attitude and can be a rude prick. But he also has _been through_ a lot of shifty stuff and you know I can empathize with that. I think underneath all the douchebaggery he’s a genuinely good person. I guess everything he told me just kind of _explains_ his behavior, but I know it doesn’t _excuse_ it.” Rey shrugs, picking up her mug of tea from the end table and taking a sip of the hot liquid.

“And now you want to be his girlfriend?” Finn asks, and Rey nearly chokes on her tea. Finn laughs, setting down his bowl and reaching across the couch to pound on her back a few times, Rey coughing uncontrollably.

“Oh my God, Finn, when did I say anything about _that_?” Rey shoots a glare at her friend, and Finn just lets out another laugh and holds his hands up in surrender.

“You didn’t, it’s just the vibe I was getting from this whole conversation,” Finn shrugs, giving her back a reassuring rub as he moves to settle back on his end of the couch. “You know I trust your judgement completely with these kinds of things, and you can certainly take care of yourself. I’m going to be supportive of you whether he’s just your booty call or if you want to, you know - fall in love, get married, and have two-point-five little dark-haired babies and a white picket fence. I’m here for you either way.”

Rey can’t hold back her guffaw at his words and the absurdity of what he’s suggested. She swats his arm and steals his bowl of noodles to take a few bites, laughing even more at his undignified yelp at having his food snatched. She’s confused as hell about Kylo and her feelings for him, really, but as long as she’s got her goofy best friend she thinks she’ll figure it all out.

 

Lying in bed that night, Rey can’t seem to get to sleep, still unsure how to process some of what Kylo had told her earlier that day. Talking with Finn had helped, but it had in some ways made her more even more undecided about the man, especially when Finn had caught on to what she realized was a quickly-developing crush. Kylo thought that what he told Rey would drive her away from him, but in truth it had only fascinated her more - although she wouldn’t pretend she could excuse some of the things he had done in his past. The idea of leaving behind a loving family was unimaginable to her as someone who had longed for a family of her own for her entire life. He had explained, however, some of the circumstances around why he had run away; a diplomat mother who was always out of the country when he felt he needed her, a father who was perpetually away on business and didn’t seem to know how to act around his troubled son when he _was_ home, and an uncle who placed a too-heavy weight of expectation on his shoulders at a very young age. He had left because he felt like he couldn’t live up to their ideals - and he had been sucked into a cycle of substance abuse and crime when he found nowhere else to turn to. Kylo knew his parents and uncle still loved him; tears threatening to spill over when he told Rey they had asked him to come home but he felt he couldn’t go back, that he had betrayed them too thoroughly and didn’t belong with them anymore.

Even now he considered himself to be a traitor to his parents, the corporation he worked for doing dirty deals and exploiting workers in third-world countries - the very things his mother had dedicated her life to fighting against as a political figure. When Rey asked Kylo why he hadn’t just left his job, he had explained the complicated web he was tangled in. His boss and the CEO, known only as ‘Snoke’, had plucked Kylo off the streets back when he was a junkie who had turned to increasingly more violent crimes as a means to get his fix. Apparently the old man had seen some sort of spark in Kylo, and had tutored him in business, finance, and negotiation - the young man had turned out to be a brilliant student. Snoke provided Kylo with a place to live and used his political and corporate connections to get the teenager acquitted from most of the crimes he had committed - even going as far to use some some of his seedier contacts to dispose of evidence that could have gotten Kylo convicted and sent to jail. Kylo had eventually taken an esteemed position in the company, working directly under Snoke. When he had discovered a few years ago that his employer was doing black market weapons deals under the table, Kylo had tried to leave but had been told in no uncertain terms by his boss that if he left, certain evidence and information might come to light about Kylo’s past - the kinds of things that could get him convicted this time around.

Even though Snoke had provided him with an escape from homelessness, his ‘mentor’ hadn’t discouraged the young man from using - under the condition that it didn’t affect his career performance. The man had even gone as far as to provide Kylo with drugs, an attempt to make him even more dependent on his boss and mentor. Kylo had told Rey about waking up one day with the sudden and terrifying realization that his habits were wrecking his body and mind, and he had decided he was done using then and there, determined to break free of at least that aspect of Snoke’s grip on him. It hadn’t been easy, but he had done it, and Kylo had talked about getting clean with an honest yet humble sense of pride - Rey could tell he thought it was one of his greatest accomplishments.

With all of _that_ as a baseline, Rey had wondered what kind of event could have happened this week to affect Kylo so strongly. She had honestly almost been too afraid to even ask. It turned out that Kylo had been asked by Snoke to manage an under-the-table deal with a drug cartel - something that would be very profitable for those involved, but Kylo had outright refused. His boss hadn’t been pleased and had threatened him with the usual blackmail - but on top of it all, he had received a call from his mother, begging him to come home. His father was very ill and they weren’t sure if he would recover.

Rey didn’t know what to say to the dark-haired man after any of it, and had ended up just holding his hand across the table, smoothing her thumb over the back of his hand and trying to put as much reassurance in the simple gesture as she could. She knew from experience that sometimes it was most therapeutic to be able to speak without fear of judgement and with the knowledge that there was someone who cared enough to listen. She understood why Kylo had warned her about getting involved with him, but she had spent her whole life struggling - to find a family, to make friends, to become independent - and a large part of her connected with Kylo and his own experiences with adversity, despite how different they were to her own.

Turning over yet again in her bed, she kicks at her comforter and tries futilely to get comfortable. It may be a Friday night, but she liked to start her weekend days early and she needed to run errands and do some studying before meeting up with some friends for lunch tomorrow. She can’t clear her head, though, even the trick she had come up with as a child - imagining a green island in the middle of a calm sea - wasn’t working tonight. She reaches for her phone and opens the text messaging app, finger hovering over _send_ after typing out a short message to Kylo, who had given her his number after they had parted ways that evening. _You up?_ she impulsively hits send, figuring if the guy is fine with divulging his difficult past to her, surely he won’t mind if she sends him a text.

The reply is almost instantaneous - _Yes. I would ask if you are, but obviously you must be, so... what’s up?_ Rey bites her lip as she reads his response, wondering if he was unable to sleep like her or if he was always a night owl. It was only one in the morning, not terribly late, but Rey would have liked to have been asleep hours ago.

 _Can’t sleep :/ Are you doing okay?_ she sends, and nearly drops her phone in surprise when it starts vibrating with an incoming call from Kylo. She hastily clears her throat, then answers will a probably very sleepy-sounding “hello?”

She hears a little chuckle over the line. “I thought you said you were awake. You sound at least seventy-five percent asleep right now.”

“I said I _couldn’t_ sleep, not that I wasn’t trying. I’ve been laying in bed for like three hours,” she says quietly, voice sounding too-loud in the hush of her and Finn’s apartment. “Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, actually. I feel pretty good, considering. You have trouble falling asleep often, or is it just tonight?” Rey swings her feet over the bed, sitting up a bit and pulling her well-worn comforter around her shoulders. She’s resigned herself for being awake for at least the time being, so she figures she might as well make herself a cup of tea.

She pads barefoot into the kitchen, pulling open a cupboard and fishing around for her favorite mug. The bright orange ceramic cup is chipped by the handle and has a few burn marks and scuffs, but it had been a birthday present from Finn the first year of their friendship, and she didn’t think she could ever bring herself to throw it away. Finding the mug, she puts the kettle on and answers Kylo, “usually I can manage to get to sleep without too much trouble. I guess I’ve just got a lot going through my mind, thinking about our conversation earlier.” Her voice is barely above a whisper now as she moves quietly around the kitchen making tea, phone cradled between her ear and shoulder. She’s trying to be quiet enough not to wake Finn, but thankfully her best friend usually sleeps like a rock and snores like a bear so she isn’t too concerned.

It’s a few heartbeats before Kylo responds, and suddenly his voice is serious. “I really hope you aren’t thinking about what an awful person I am, or deciding that you don’t --”

“Nonsense, Kylo, I wouldn’t have texted you if that was the case. I told you that I didn’t think your past had to define you and I stand behind that. I was actually worrying about you and I think that’s most of the reason I couldn’t sleep,” Rey plops down into one of their mismatched thrifted kitchen chairs, cupping the mug and absorbing its warmth while she waits for the tea to finish steeping.

A sigh of what she can only assume is relief comes over the line, then. “I was thinking about you too, and I couldn’t sleep. Thinking about how you know so much about me now and I know so little about you, and it occurred to me that I was being very selfish by not asking you anything about yourself. I want to get to know you, Rey,” Kylo’s voice is painfully earnest and it does strange things to Rey’s stomach to think that they were both lying awake thinking about each other and unable to sleep.

“It’s okay, Kylo, you needed to talk through some things and I was there to listen. You can hear all about my boring life another time,” she lets out a little laugh with her words and takes a sip of her tea.

There’s another pause, and Rey’s about to move her phone from her ear to check and see that it hasn't dropped the call. “How about now? Can I come pick you up? I mean, maybe it's too forward, and I know it's pretty late, but --”

Her pulse picks up at his words and she tries not to sound too overzealous as she answers him. “That would be great, Kylo. I'll text you the address for my building,” Rey gets up to put her half-empty mug by the sink, walking towards her room to change from her threadbare pajamas to a pair of leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, probably one of the many she had a habit of “borrowing” from Finn.

“You can bring stuff to stay over if you'd like. Actually, shit, that was probably way too presumptuous of me, sorry, I can drive you back home, but you’re welcome to stay here, I guess. Fuck, sorry, I probably sound like an idiot,” he finishes off with a resigned sigh. Kylo’s awkward rambling might be one of the most endearing things she's experienced in quite awhile, Rey thinks.

“I'll grab some stuff and let my roommate know I'm leaving. See you in a few minutes, Kylo,” she hangs up after he responds with an articulate _uh -- okay, I’ll be there soon_ , and Rey throws her toothbrush and a change of clothes into her backpack. She knocks once on Finn’s door once before letting herself in.

“Finn?” she calls out quietly, and he mumbles and rolls over in his sleep. She gently shakes his shoulder and he wakes, eyes blinking open slowly.

“What is it, Rey?” his voice is still thick with sleep and Rey feels a little bad for waking him, but it's really like payback considering the number of times Finn and Poe had inadvertently woken her. She’s lost track of the number of nights she's had to dig out earplugs to block out the sounds of their moans and the thumping of Finn’s headboard against the wall.

“I wanted to let you know I'm going over to Kylo’s and staying the night, so you don't freak out when you wake up and I'm not here.”

Finn sits up suddenly, brow furrowing in confusion. “You’re going to stay at Kylo’s? Is this a late night booty call or what?”

Rey swats at his arm and lets out a laugh. “I don't know, not really. He wants to talk and I think he needs some company.” Her best friend raises his eyebrows with blatant skepticism and Rey’s words and she can’t help the tinge of pink that colors her cheeks at what she knows he’s suspecting the visit will be about.

“Okay, sure, he wants to ‘talk’. Well, use protection and all that. See you tomorrow,” Finn lets out a sleepy chuckle, followed by a yawn, and turns back over to go to sleep. Rey shakes her head and walks out of his room, trying futilely to smother the butterflies in her stomach before Kylo gets to her apartment.

 

Rey rushes down the stairs after her phone lights up with a text from Kylo simply stating _I’m here_. She slides into the passenger seat, giving Kylo a smile and pulling her backpack onto her lap. The car ride is mostly silent but for some moody acoustic music Rey doesn’t recognize drifting out of the car’s high-end sound system, but oddly enough Rey doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence and apparently neither does Kylo. They get to his apartment building, pulling up in the same reserved spot and again Kylo gets out and runs around the car to get the door for Rey, although his time it’s not quite as frantic and he doesn’t haul her out by the wrist like he had the last time she was here.

There’s a different doorman this time, sitting at a counter and reading the paper. Rey certainly doesn’t envy the man for having to work the graveyard shift. He gives them a nod as Kylo and Rey pass by, and once they’re in the elevator Kylo turns to her and seems unsure of what to do with himself for a moment before enfolding her in a hug. Rey feels extremely small in the tall man’s embrace, his chin easily resting on the top of her head as she tucks her cheek into his chest. If she thinks about this too hard, she knows how strange it will seem that she’s _here_ : hugging some guy who she’s known for less than two week’s time and going to his ridiculously fancy apartment in the middle of the night so they can talk about her past and possibly fuck (she’s got her fingers crossed if she’s being honest). She doesn’t dwell on it, then, just revels in the physical contact and the comfort it brings, too goddamn tired to fight the attraction she feels for him and the _rightness_ that she feels when they’re together.

“Thanks for coming over,” he mumbles into her hair, stepping back from the embrace as they reach his floor. Rey gives him a smile and a nod, following him out of the elevator and to the door of his apartment. He doesn’t fumble with his keys quite as much this time, getting the door unlocked quickly and holding it for her as he gestures for her to go in. She wanders into the apartment, struck again by how elegant yet impersonal the place is. Kylo walks in behind her, nodding his head at the grey sectional that dominates the main living space. “Have a seat, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything to drink? I’m going to have some hot cocoa,” he says, voice drifting from the kitchen as Rey shuffles into the living room. She snickers a bit, really not pegging Kylo as a _hot cocoa_ kind of person.

“Just a glass of water is fine,” she says back, eyes glancing around Kylo’s apartment and wishing there was something, _anything_ interesting for her to look at. Usually she’d delight in perusing old family photos, knickknacks, souvenirs from vacations - it was one of her favorite things to do when visiting someone’s home, a way to get to know them through what they surround themselves with. Kylo’s space was completely void of those types of things, disappointingly so. Then she spots something from across the room, in a tall glass case near the entertainment center. As she walks closer, she sees that it looks to be some sort of beat up and partially melted helmet, maybe something from the military, but it’s hard for Rey to tell. Trying to get a better look and the strange and warped piece of metal, her nose is nearly pressed up against the glass when suddenly Kylo is behind her, his voice startling her so much she spins around and nearly trips over the dark-haired man.

“I see you found my grandfather’s helmet,” he says, an eyebrow quirked in amusement but a strangely serious expression on his face.

“ _Holy shit,_ you scared me, like that was some ninja-level stealth,” Rey’s cheeks color, embarrassed at her reaction and getting caught snooping. She fumbles to recover a bit of her dignity, willing her blush down and asking, “so it’s, uh -- your grandfather’s helmet, you said?”

Kylo turns to set his mug and her glass down on the low metal coffee table behind them, and his eyes gloss over with admiration when he starts to talk about the piece of memorabilia in front of him. “My grandfather was a commander in the military. He did a lot of admirable things, truly was a great man, but also was greatly misunderstood. Many say that he fell on the wrong side of the war - and I’ll admit myself that he commanded some rather unsavory deeds to be done. All in all, he is deserving of admiration and he’s been my role model all my life, even though he died before I was born and I sadly never got the chance to meet him.”

Rey quirks her head to the side, a little confused by Kylo’s sudden passionate spiel, but she looks at the helmet and nods. “I’m glad you have someone like that to look up to,” Rey says, not sure what else she can say about the beat up artifact and Kylo’s apparent hero-worship for his late grandfather. It’s a little strange, if she’s being honest, but she's quickly coming to discover Kylo is a strange and quirky man. The tall man seems to snap out of something then, shaking his head slightly and gently grabbing her hand to pull her over to the couch. Her cheeks flush with the sudden realization that she had a spectacular orgasm on this very couch cushion, but Kylo doesn’t seem to notice her blush as he reaches for his drink and sprawls out over the plush grey suede.

“So, now that you know all the details of my sordid past, I think it’s only fair that you tell me a little bit more about yourself,” Kylo says, taking a sip of his cocoa and smiling at her over the top of the plain black mug.

Rey shrugs and gives him a small smile back. “I’m not really sure what you want to know - my life is going to probably seem pretty dull in comparison to yours. I grew up in a bunch of different foster homes - my parents left when I was five years old and I spent most of my childhood waiting for them to come back. It was shitty, but I pulled through. I kept my head down, tried to stay out of trouble but always had an issue avoiding fights.” Kylo chuckles at that.

“You? Getting in a fight? Hard to believe,” he says, wide grin on his face and voice thick with sarcasm. He scoots a few inches closer to where she’s sitting on the couch as he speaks.

“I have a low tolerance for people telling me what I can or can’t do, or for talking shit about me because I don’t have any family. But, I don’t know, I moved around a lot and making friends was always a challenge since I was never in one place for long enough to really connect. I got interested in engineering in high school - took a few shop classes and fell in love with anything I could take apart and put back together - and applied to the college here because they had a good program and offered a huge scholarship and enough financial aid to cover the rest of tuition,” she shrugs again, unsure of what else to say about herself. She had never particularly enjoyed talking about her life, wanting to move on from being a “foster kid” and not let it define her or haunt her as an adult. She accepted that her experiences had shaped who she was, but she didn’t like to dwell on it.

He continues to good-naturedly needle her with questions, though, genuine interest and empathy on his face encouraging her to open up to him like he had with her at the coffee shop. She loses track of time as she talks, telling him stories from some of the better (and worse) homes she had lived in, describing the feeling of having to move yet again and leave behind the friends that she had just made, relating the joy she had felt when she discovered her passion for working with machines. He listens intently, nodding and laughing in the right places and putting a large hand on her arm when she shares anything particularly personal or painful. He asks about her life now, too, about what classes she’s taking and what she likes to do in her spare time other than working out. She tells him about Finn and Poe, about her engineering buddies and the group of friends she had met in the Gender and Literature course she had taken on a whim last year. She finishes with telling him about the finals she has coming up, laughing as she admits to him how badly she’s been procrastinating on studying by binge-watching old Disney movies with Finn on Netflix.

At some point, the conversation shifts back to what she had Kylo had discussed earlier, about his current predicament with work and family. “You know, I really do think you should quit your job. It sounds awful and I think you should leave now while you still have a decent moral compass, because eventually you might just get so numb to the corruption that you don’t care any more and then you’ve sold your soul in order to make a bunch of money and surround yourself with all this meaningless crap,” Rey gestures all Kylo’s apartment, and she has the sinking realization that she had pretty much just insulted his life, choices, and home pretty thoroughly. She opens her mouth to apologize or explain when Kylo gives her a curious look.

He runs a hand through his long hair, letting out a world-weary sigh. Rey mentally reaffirms her belief that as sweet as the guy can be, he still has a flair for the dramatic, big time. “I don’t know if you understand the extent to which he could blackmail me and fuck up my life. I don’t want to go to jail, I don’t want to be blacklisted from ever working at another corporation of that caliber again, I don’t want him to make my life hell. The man is a sociopath by any and all definitions of the word and I fear the lengths he would go to if I left the company.”

“Well, you said your mother was a well-known and influential political figure, don’t you think she would be able to help you expose _Snoke_ for the corruption in his corporation? Surely you would be able to get enough evidence and give testimony in order to turn him over to the authorities for the black market trading he’s done,” Rey suggests. She knows it’s probably a bit more complicated than that, but it’s sad to her that Kylo is trapped doing something he hates and is isolated from his family because of it.

Kylo tilts his head, considering. “That’s assuming that my mother would be forgiving of what I’ve done to my family. But it is a possibility - clearly I wouldn’t be totally innocent in the whole ordeal, because I’ve participated in some of the illegal things the company has done, against my will or not. But, I might get a plea bargain or acquittal for helping to expose Snoke and his crimes and testifying against him. I don’t really see any other way to escape from it.”

“Kylo, do you know how long I spent waiting for my family to come pull me out of the foster care system? What I wouldn’t do in order to have parents that loved me? I know they might have messed up when you were younger, and maybe they weren’t around all the time, but your family clearly still wants you to come home and I don’t think you should throw away your chance to do that. Your shitty job isn’t worth it and I think your parents would be so incredibly proud of you if you stood up to Snoke, left your hellish job, and went back to them.”

Kylo runs his hand through his hair again, a pained expression on his face. “Fuck, Rey, you’re right. I don’t know how it’ll work and I still need to think through it more, but I want to do the right thing. I think I’ve known what I had to do for awhile but I was too afraid to do it.” He reaches for her hand and gives it a squeeze. “Thank you for helping me make up my mind. I think you might be the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time.” Rey can’t help but beam at Kylo’s words, happy that she had convinced him. He must have been very strongly considering making the move before, based on how easy it had been to sway him, but she has no problem still counting it as a point for herself.

She gets up to refill her water glass then, and as she sits back down Kylo drifts closer to her on the couch, small grin on his face as he does so. “Is this okay?” he asks as he lifts an arm, clearly planning on putting it around her but hesitating until she answers.

“Yeah, it’s fine with me. I never would have guessed you were a cuddler, though.” Rey settles up against Kylo’s side as one long arm snakes around her waist and pulls her against the side of his body, warmth spreading where they make contact even through a few layers of fabric.

Kylo shrugs and makes a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat. “Would you believe me if I said I’m a little touch-starved?” He lets out a quiet laugh with the words, and Rey gives him an empathetic look, stretching over to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Your story might not be as dramatic as mine, but I really do admire you for making something out of your shitty circumstances and pursuing something you love. And for talking some sense into me so I can finally work up the nerve to walk away from Snoke. You’re a pretty amazing person, Rey.” He reaches a hand up to push a lock of dark brown hair behind her ear, and Rey has to look away from his gaze it’s so intense. She feels yet another flush rising to her face, inwardly cursing the blood rushing to her face for giving away her emotions so freely and frequently around this man.

“I don’t know, _amazing_ might a bit of an exaggeration, really --” Rey’s cut off mid-sentence by the sudden press of Kylo’s lips against hers. She lets out an undignified _mmmph!_ of surprise before responding, opening her mouth under his and sucking his plush bottom lip into her mouth. Kylo lets out a groan and one hand comes up to cup Rey’s jaw, the arm around her waist pulling her into his lap. Rey feels a thrum of arousal start to build deep in her belly, low and insistent, but she finds herself more than content to sit on the couch and make out like a couple of teenagers for the time being, just appreciating the feel of Kylo’s body under her and chasing the lingering taste of cocoa in his mouth. Kylo’s big hands roam her body, smoothing over her waist and hips and breasts as he moves his mouth to the hollow behind her ear and sucks a mark there.

Rey gets impatient first, wanting to feel skin-on-skin, and pulls back to haul Kylo’s plain t-shirt over his head. She smoothes her hands over the broad and freckled expanse of his shoulders before tugging her sweatshirt off - the baggy garment loose enough that she hadn’t bothered with a bra and she can see Kylo’s throat bob as he takes in the sight of her, eyes lingering on her bare breasts. She smirks at him as he stares, tempted to quip something like _hey, my eyes are up here_ , but she decides to just bask in his attention instead. She eventually tangles her fingers in his dark hair, tugging lightly until he tips his chin up and she can reach his mouth with hers. Their chests rub together as their kissing takes on a more desperate edge, Rey moaning into his mouth as her sensitive nipples rub against the smooth skin of Kylo’s chest.

Underneath her, Rey can feel Kylo’s cock straining against his sweatpants and she can’t ignore it any longer, finally giving in to her urge and grinding down on his lap. “Shit, Rey. You turn me on so much. I don't want you to think I invited you over just for this, but --”

Rey cuts him off with a bruising kiss and another filthy swivel of her hips. “I don't care _why_ you invited me over as long as you fuck me, preferably very, very soon,” she moans out, punctuating her words with a nip to Kylo’s earlobe.

“Oh, God -- bedroom, now,” Kylo groans out, and Rey scrambles off his lap and tugs _him_ by the wrist this time. Rey shimmies out of her leggings and turns to see Kylo is stripping of his sweatpants. A rush of wetness pools between her legs when she realizes he's not wearing anything under the pants, cock springing free as he pulls the cotton fabric down his legs and tosses the garment over to the corner of the room. Rey stands dumbstruck for a moment as she takes in the sight of him, all long and muscular limbs and broad shoulders and smooth skin - and then he's striding up to her, smirking as he lifts her up and pulls them both onto the king size bed.

Rey rolls over so he’s under her, his dick trapped against her belly. Her eyes flick to his mouth, red and slick and swollen from their kissing, and her cunt throbs with the thought of his lips and tongue between her thighs. “You were pretty good with your mouth last time, how about some of that again?” she says, sitting up to straddle his thighs. His cock had left a smear of fluid on her stomach, and she impulsively swipes a finger through the spot and sticks it in her mouth. Kylo arches under her and lets out a groan, as he watches her, flush blooming high of his cheekbones. The flavor is bitter and salty, but somehow leaves her wanting for a better taste. “Actually, change of plans. I just realized I really want to suck you off.”

Kylo’s cock spurts out another dribble of precome under her gaze, and his hands grip her hips roughly. “Turn around and sit on my face,” he grunts out, eyes dark with lust. Rey feels another rush of heat to her core at his words, and she quickly complies, shimmying towards the headboard and turning to face the foot of the bed. As soon as she's settled over him, Kylo’s hands palm her ass, then side down so he can spread her open with two wide thumbs.

The first touch of his tongue to her sex has Rey slumping forward and crying out. She bends forward, grasping Kylo’s thick cock by the base and giving the swollen head an open-mouthed kiss. A moan reverberates up through Kylo’s chest, and when it comes out of his mouth Rey can feel the low noise vibrating against her clit. She slides her mouth down his length, lips stretching around the thickness of him and using her hand to stroke what she can’t fit in her mouth.

Kylo alternates sucking at her clit and licking around her entrance, tongue dipping in her cunt and lapping at her folds. Rey bobs her head over his cock, saliva messily slicking the way and running into the thatch of dark hair over his groin. She pulls back to run her tongue over the thick vein on the underside of his dick when her jaw starts to ache, sucking kisses on the side of the shaft and taking him back her in mouth when the ache abates. The whole thing is sloppy and filthy and fucking _amazing_ , Rey doesn't think she's ever felt so wet in her entire life.

The stimulation between her legs stops momentarily, and Rey hears a soft thump which she thinks must be Kylo’s head hitting the comforter. “I'm not going to last much longer if we keep this up, Rey. Your mouth is un-fucking-believable, but I really want to be inside of you if that’s okay,” he says, voice already sounding wrecked.

She pulls off of his cock with one last suckle to the purpling head, turning around and moving back down his body. “It’s very okay. Grab a condom?”

Nodding and beaming at her, Kylo rolls to his stomach and stretches out to reach in his bedside drawer, pulling out a foil packet triumphantly and tossing it to her. She catches and unwraps the condom, rolling it over him and moving to straddle his hips. Kylo pushes himself up on his elbows, but before he can sit up all the way, Rey plants a hand firmly on one pectoral and pushes him back down. “Here’s what’s going to happen, Kylo,” Rey starts, grasping his cock by the base and guiding the tip to nudge at her entrance. “I’m going to ride you to within an inch of your _goddamn life_ ,” she gasps a bit on the last few words as she sinks down on him, wet and aroused enough to take his whole length in one smooth motion. She starts moving her hips, voice already breathy as she finishes, “-- and you’re going to just lie back and _take it_ , understand?”

Finally, she’s rendered the man speechless, and he just keens and fists his hands in the duvet at her words. She can’t keep the smirk off her face as she plants her hands on his chest, hips swiveling and canting as Kylo struggles to keep still under her and mostly fails. His hands come up to cup her breasts, sliding down her waist and setting on her hips. She raises an eyebrow at him, and he loosens his grip a bit, restraining himself from moving her hips and trying to control the pace. Rey curses his height when she thinks about pinning his wrists to the mattress and realizes that there’s no way she’d ever be able to _reach_ them unless she was straddling his chest. Settling for the second best option, she grunts out at him, “are you going to behave or do I have to tie you hands?” His eyes widen, darkening even further with lust, and Rey realizes that he would most definitely get off from being tied up a bit, adding it to a mental _to do_ list for the next time they fucked. “Well? Put them above your head, then, and keep them there,” she says, and he scrambles to comply. She misses the warm weight of his hands on her, but it’s worth it to see him spread out beneath her like his.

She picks up the pace, using her hands on his pectorals for more leverage as she bounces above him. One perk of working out so often is that she isn’t even winded yet, thighs just starting to feel the slightest twinge as she lifts and lowers herself on Kylo’s cock. Her muscles could probably keep her going at this for a long time, but her orgasm is building rapidly and she doesn’t think either of them will last much longer. Kylo had done a splendid job of eating her out and she probably had been halfway there when she finally got him inside of her, and judging from the broken-sounding noises coming out of Kylo’s slack mouth, Rey thinks he’s on the same page.

Arousal courses through her strong enough to be dizzying, and Rey switches up her motions one last time, grinding back and forth in short, quick motions. Her clit rubs against his groin, and the added friction is just what Rey needed to push herself over the edge. “ _Fuck_ , come with me Kylo --” and whatever else she’s going to say spirals off into incoherence as her climax hits her full force. Clenching hard around his cock and riding him through her orgasm, Rey is distantly aware of Kylo’s hands suddenly grasping her hips hard enough to bruise as a low and drawn out moan escapes from him.

It feels like she’s coming forever, but eventually and incrementally she comes down, slumping heavily against Kylo’s chest. She feels too boneless to hold herself up anymore and figures it’s payback for the (much heavier) man collapsing on top of her last time they had fucked. Kylo presses a kiss to her sweaty forehead, pulling out as he softens and tossing the condom in what she can assume is the direction of the garbage can. She’ll be amazed if he actually made the shot, but she’s too blissed out to give a fuck right now and it’s Kylo’s house anyway - he can clean up after his own poor aim later.

The man under her is shaking, suddenly, and Rey has a moment of panic before she realizes he’s laughing silently, face scrunched up with a big grin. “Holy _shit_ , that was incredible, Rey. Next time you are definitely going to tie me up, though.” He grabs under her arms and tugs her up until she’s at eye level, capturing her lips in a sloppy, fucked-out kiss. Rey can’t help but laugh too, telling Kylo she agrees wholeheartedly on both points.

She rolls off of him, burying her face in a pillow and reveling in the softness of the featherbed under her, which she hadn’t even had the chance to do until now. They lie next to each other for a few minutes, catching their breaths and collecting their thoughts until Kylo turns towards her, putting a hand on the small of her back and clearing his throat quietly.

“So, what exactly is it that we’re doing here?” Kylo asks, a tinge of nervousness palpable in his voice as his hand moves to trace random patterns on Rey’s bare back. “I mean, are we friends, or friends with benefits, or -- something more? I’m sorry, I’m just shit at all this interpersonal stuff, really. Maybe it’s a dumb thing to even ask.”

Rey shrugs and turns her face towards him from where it’s smushed into a downy pillow. His expression is earnest and open, and she wonders why Kylo couldn’t be this person all the time. It was mystifying for her that he felt the need to put on an act - becoming someone rude and arrogant when he really had such a big, kind heart deep down. The person she had first met was so different from the man she’s lying in bed with now. “I don’t think we need to put a label on it. I like you a lot, and I enjoy talking with you just as much as I enjoy having sex with you. I want to keep spending time together but frankly I don’t know if I’m going to have a lot of time when finals come up and I’ve always felt like relationships are horribly distracting and messy,” she reaches out to run a hand over Kylo’s face, his brow furrowing just a bit at her words.

“I like you a lot, too, Rey. I don’t want to get in the way of your studies, and I don’t know a lot about relationships, but I had hoped that maybe --” he trails off, color tinging his cheeks as his eyes flick away from hers.

She sits up halfway, scooting over a few inches until she’s close enough to catch his lips with her own for a kiss. “Hey, I didn’t mean to say I didn’t want us to be together. I just -- we haven’t known each other for that long, and I don’t want to jump into something and then have someone’s feelings get hurt if we realize we don’t work well together and we rushed into it too fast. I mean, I want to keep seeing you and keep doing _this_ and but maybe we just wait a little bit before making any promises?” She pulls herself on top of him again, naked chests pressing together as she nips at Kylo’s lower lip and coaxes him into a languid kiss.

“I think I can do that,” he says against her lips as he pulls back from their kiss just slightly. “Let’s try and get some sleep now, okay? I’ve got a resignation letter to write up and a pretty important phone call to make to my mother tomorrow.”

Rey smiles against the skin of his chest, nuzzling against him as he reaches over to turn off the lamp on the bedside table. He pulls the goose down comforter over the two of them, settling his arms around her, one large palm spreading over the small of her back comfortingly. She closes her eyes and finally feels a peaceful and contented sleep wash over her.


	4. Chapter 4

 

* * *

Saturday’s gym routine is as per usual for Rey. She _maybe_ goes a little easier, knocks the weight down a bit and does a few less reps - she had gotten about three hours of sleep and she’s feeling a little _tender_ between her legs, to say the least.

She had left Kylo’s place fairly early that morning, the man getting up at an ungodly hour to drink coffee, read the paper, and listen to _classical music_ , of all things. She had helped herself to a shower in his ludicrously large and fancy bathroom - the thing was probably half the size of her and Finn’s entire apartment. The shower had gotten a little longer (and more interesting) than she expected when Kylo slipped in with her, which in turn had made her nearly late for her lunch plans. Thank God for Kylo’s willingness to give her a ride in his expensive car _and_ break a few speed limit laws on the way there.

The day is beautiful, all clear skies and mild breezes, so Rey decides to jog back to her apartment after lifting weights. It’s a combination of exercise and free transportation, so Rey figures it’s a win-win. She picks a playlist and lets her mind drift while she runs, trying not to stress out about that project she has to finish this week, instead thinking about what she and Finn could cook for dinner tonight and finally suppressing the dopey smile that threatens to burst forth when her mind drifts to Kylo.

She can’t help but wonder what he’s doing right now, if he’s called his parents yet or how the conversation had gone if he had. They hadn’t made any plans for the weekend or beyond, Rey had simply left with a kiss and a reassurance that he could get in touch with her if things went badly with his family or work and he needed some support. They’d see each other on Monday at the gym, in any case. Their discussion last night had left things pretty open with where they stood relationship-wise, but she had to admit she liked the idea of Kylo being a good friend with whom she could have deep conversations, hang out, cuddle and kiss, and also have really great sex with. She resolutely would not admit to herself, though, that when she thought of it like _that_ it did sort of sound like she wanted to be his girlfriend.

 

They had texted each other throughout the weekend and had one five-hour long late night phone conversation, but Monday was the first time Rey actually saw Kylo again after he had dropped her off on Saturday morning.

It’s at the gym, of course, and Rey’s heart feels like it’s skipped a beat or two when she sees him doing push-ups on one of the worn blue mats in the corner of the weight room. The smile he flashes her when he looks up and makes eye contact is almost blinding. _Good news then,_ Rey thinks, and plops down on the mat next to him, starting a set of crunches since she’s there anyway.

“I take it things went okay today, then?”

Kylo looks over to her, still mid-push up, and laughs. His arms go slack and he drops onto his stomach on the mat, catching his breath. “Things went fan-fucking-tastic, all things considered,” he pants out, still beaming at Rey.

“Care to elaborate, then? You quit, correct?”

Kylo nods, rolling onto his back and pulling a leg up to his chest to stretch. “I did. Marched in there and told Snoke I was leaving for good and that I could absolutely _destroy_ him in court by exposing the black market stuff he’d been doing if he tried to threaten me and make me stay. I collected all that evidence in the office this weekend, so I could back it up, too.”

“Well, damn. I’m really proud of you, Kylo. What was his reaction?”

“I thought it would be the usual blackmail threat type of thing, but he actually looked _scared_ after I told him I had all that evidence. He said he’d rather lose one employee, even ‘his best’, than have the whole company go down,” Kylo explains, sitting up and stretching his arms one across the other. “He’s really old, like _ancient_ , and I think he just doesn’t have the fight in him anymore. We came to an agreement that neither of us would share any damning information about the other and that was it, so I just walked out and was done. It still feels really surreal.”

“So that’s it, then,” Rey responds, feeling like it’s a little surreal even to _her_. She can’t imagine how Kylo must feel, but judging by his adorable dopey grin it must be pretty fucking great.

“That’s it,” he says, getting up from the mat and offering Rey a hand. She gets up and moves toward the free weights in the corner, still needing to do the workout for the day even if it looks like Kylo’s done. “I know we’re not really _dating_ or anything, so you don’t have to think of it as a _date_ ,” he starts, hand rubbing the back of his neck as his cheeks tinge pink, “but can I pick you up at six tonight to go out and celebrate? My treat.”

Kylo’s fucking adorable when he’s awkward like this, and Rey can’t help the grin that blooms on her face at his words. “Of course. As if a poor college student like me would refuse a free meal,” she laughs. Turning towards the free weights to complete her workout for the day, Rey checks to make sure none of the gym-goers are looking and stretches on her tiptoes to give Kylo a kiss on the cheek. “See you at six, then,” she says over her shoulder as she goes to grab a pair of dumbbells, leaving Kylo blushing and grinning as Rey walks away with a ridiculously huge smile of her own.

 

* * *

 

Strangely, things manage to both very much the same and become fundamentally _different_ after Kylo becomes Rey’s not-quite boyfriend.

They spend much of their time together now, even though they _aren’t dating_ , despite how many times Finn tries to convince Rey that she and Kylo might as well just make it official at this point. Kylo’s asked her to be his girlfriend a few times, and Rey feels like she becomes less opposed to the idea every time he brings it up, but still feels the need to hold out for some reason. She tells herself it’s because she’s waiting for finals to be over. Probably, she knows, it’s a fear-of-commitment thing, a product of her unstable upbringing, but delving into the reasoning behind her hesitation is mentally exhausting to Rey and for now she just wants to keep things uncomplicated. Kylo, bless his heart, is fine with the arrangement but does make it clear that he’d like to _officially_ be in a relationship with her at some point. She always reassures him that her hesitation isn’t about him, it’s just something she needs to figure out, and in the meantime she’s all about being really good friends with _really good_ benefits.  

At minimum, they still see each other at the gym - six days a week now that Rey’s convinced Kylo to go on Saturdays. Rey generally spends the night at Kylo’s at least once a week; it’s a sex thing, of course, but she also just likes to spend time cuddling and talking with him and it gives Finn and Poe some privacy whenever Poe’s able to visit.

Kylo’s been unemployed since he left his job, wanting to figure out what it is he wants to do with his life - and Rey admires that. It also means he has basically unlimited free time, and Kylo will frequently come and hang out with her at the library on campus between her classes or bring her lunch when she has a full day of labs and lectures with only a fifteen minute break in the middle. He spoils her, she knows, but the man’s unemployed and gets bored - and she’s not one to turn down any type of favor when she’d gotten so few of them throughout her life. If it makes Kylo feel good to do nice things for his friend, then Rey’s on board for that one hundred percent.

Weeks fly past in a contented blur. Rey thinks that her life right now is the best it’s ever been; she’s got an active social life and great friends, is doing well with her classes, _and_ she gets to have awesome sex on a regular basis. Time flies and all that, and before Rey knows it the end of the semester is upon them.

 

Finals are, quite predictably, a total and utter bitch. Rey is going to kick some ass and take some names in order to complete this semester with an excellent GPA, but she really is not enjoying all the studying that comes with that plan at the moment.

She and Finn cancel their Netflix for the month leading up to their big tests, apparently lacking the self-control to “just watch one episode” or even “just one movie”. The two roommates try their best to keep each other motivated, which to some extent means keeping their distance - Rey and Finn have a habit of being unable to _not_ hang out when they’re in the same general area. The coffee shop, library, and (surprisingly) Kylo’s apartment become Rey’s most frequent haunts while she prepares for the end of the semester. At first, Rey had thought she might have to cut back on the amount of time she spent with Kylo, considering how _distracting_ he could be when they’re in close proximity; but as it turns out, her sort-of-but-not-really-boyfriend is her biggest cheerleader when it comes to getting her shit done for school.

He sends her encouraging texts, gives her space when he knows she needs to focus, and invites her over to cuddle and watch a movie when she desperately needs a break. He brings takeout to the library when she’s been hitting the books long enough to have skipped a meal, and patiently listens to her rant about her too-full class schedule or talk through a particularly challenging concept. It’s sickly-sweet and adorable and sometimes part of Rey is still in disbelief that the asshole she had met at the gym is actually such a goddamn sweetheart.

Today, Rey’s sitting in her favorite coffee place with a slew of textbooks and schematics spread out on the table in front of her. Some instrumental electropop plays out of her headphones - she’s found that she’s shit at concentrating if she’s listening to anything with lyrics, but also can’t stay on-task without _something_ playing in the background. Her phone chirps and buzzes on the table, but she ignores it for now, mid-paragraph in one of her textbooks and desperately clinging to her last shred of motivation to keep reading. It’s been four and a half hours since she got here and she’s so ready to be done for the day but wills herself to keep going, visualizing a beautiful 4.0 GPA on her transcript whenever she feels the urge to quit.

There’s a sound behind her suddenly and Rey turns, caught off guard between her focus on the material in front of her and the music coming through her headphones. It’s Kylo, unsurprisingly, and he’s clutching two paper cups with a lopsided grin on his face. “Mind if I join you? I’ll try not to divert too much of your concentration,” he says, sliding in the booth before she can even answer.

Rey raises an eyebrow as he slides over her drink. “I _do_ mind, actually, but because you brought me coffee I suppose you can stay,” she quips, giving Kylo a smile and taking a sip of the latte he had brought her.

Something on the cup catches her eye, and she pulls it back from her lips to take a look. _Kylo’s GF ;)_ is written neatly with black sharpie, and Rey glances over to the counter to see the familiar barista waving at her and smirking. “It was his idea, I swear,” Kylo laughs, holding up his hands in surrender. Rey rolls her eyes because she thinks it was probably a team effort, really, but she can’t deny that a bit of warmth blossoms in her chest at the little gesture.

She’s _not_ his girlfriend, not really. Every day her excuses seem a little weaker in her head, though; _I’m too busy with school, we haven’t known each other long enough, I don’t want things to get complicated and messy_ . She thinks it won’t be long until she gives in and answers _yes_ the next time he asks _so, Rey - do you want to be my girlfriend_? Maybe after finals are finished, maybe sooner. Shit, if he asked right now, she’d probably say yes - or maybe that’s just the study-frazzled part of her brain talking. She’s in deep, whether or not she would ever admit it out loud.

“So you were just in the neighborhood and decided to come bother me while I try to study, or what?” she asks, looking back down at her textbook and dragging a highlighter over a few important-sounding sentences.

“I thought it might be time you took a break, is all. Figured maybe we could go for a run or to the park or maybe some other _extracurricular_ activity,” Kylo says, voice dropping low on the last few words. Rey isn’t looking at Kylo’s face, but she can _hear_ the smirk coming through when he speaks. She rolls her eyes at the textbook page but is helpless to fight the rush of arousal that spreads from her core at his words and his tone. _Fuck it_ , she thinks, _I’ve studied enough today_.

“Ben Solo, you’re a total slag,” Rey says, mock-affronted, and holds back a smirk when Kylo’s cheeks color at the use of his given name. It’s something she does when she _really_ wants to give him shit about something or rile him up - and it works every single time. “You came here and bought me coffee just so you could lure me away from my studying to go fool around,” she finishes, crossing her arms over her chest, giving him her best glare. The dark haired man looks at her evenly, not bothering to deny any of what she’d said. The heat behind his gaze is intense enough that it would have most definitely convinced Rey to “take a break” if she hadn’t made up her mind already.

“So you’re okay with it then,” Kylo responds, head tilted to the side. It clearly isn’t a question. Rey can’t hold back her smile as she shakes her head and pulls her backpack over to start putting away her books, shutting down her laptop.

“Of course. Just let me pack up.”  

 

* * *

 

It occurs to Rey, midway through the shitstorm of crazy busy-ness that the lead up to finals has been, that Kylo had never actually been over to her place. They have always hung out at his apartment, which makes sense - it was beautifully furnished, especially since Rey had convinced him to make the place a little more personal and “homey”; they didn’t have to worry about roommates, so they could (and did) have sex on all the horizontal (and several vertical) surfaces in the apartment and lounge around in various states of undress; plus his TV was much larger and nicer, so therefore was better for Netflix marathons or movie nights.

Finn mentions to Rey in passing one evening that he thinks it’s time he meets her almost-boyfriend, to which Rey rolls her eyes and of course responds with _he isn’t my boyfriend,_ and Finn quips back, _whatever you need to tell yourself, Rey, but I still want to meet him_. She invites Kylo on a whim the next day, suggesting they go to her place for once when he asks if she wants to hang out that afternoon.

She cleans her room meticulously (it had really needed it, anyway) and tells Finn to man up and actually wash all the dishes he has piled up by the sink. Poe happens to be in town for the weekend, which is a happy coincidence. This way, both her good friends will get to meet her other good friend (who is certainly _not_ her boyfriend, no matter what Fin and Poe insist) - two birds with one stone and all that. Poe’s taking a nap in his boyfriend's room when Kylo rings their buzzer, Rey lounging on the couch with Finn as they play a heated game of _Mario Party 2_ on their Nintendo 64. It’s unlocked, so she shouts for him to come in - she can’t exactly get up in the middle of a mini-game ( _Hot Rope Jump,_ no less) and let Finn win the round.

Rey hears Kylo come in and move around a bit behind them, probably shucking his shoes on the mat by the door. She doesn’t turn to look until she’s beaten Finn at the mini-game and let out a whoop of victory and an exclamation of _get fucking wrecked, Yoshi!_ , laughing breathlessly. She sets down the controller and turns to give Kylo a smile and wave him over to join them on the couch. He walks over and Rey pauses the game, tilting a head towards Finn. “Kylo, Finn. Finn, Kylo.”

Kylo reaches out a hand, which Finn sets down his controller to shake, flashing the long haired man a smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you and put a face to the name,” Finn says in his usual friendly tone.

The taller man gives Finn a small smile and a nod, withdrawing his hand. “Likewise, I’ve heard a lot about you from Rey -- “ Kylo stops abruptly, eyes dropping down to where the two friends’ legs are squished together with how close they’re sitting on the couch.

Kylo’s smile falters and he looks at Rey questioningly, something odd flashing in his eyes. He moves to sit down, plopping down on the lumpy piece of furniture next to her. The mood has suddenly taken a weirdly tense turn and it’s leaving Rey feeling a bit confused. “Do you want in, Kylo? We can restart since I’m kicking Finn’s ass and my victory is inevitable for this game anyway,” she suggests, laughing when Finn lets out an indignant _hey!_ at her comment.

“No thank you, I’m fine,” Kylo responds, voice low and quiet. They continue with the game, Rey (predictably) continuing to wipe the floor with Finn. At some point, Rey feels Kylo drape his arm around her shoulders while her eyes are trained on the screen. She’s a bit surprised that Kylo wants to be affectionate in front of her best friend that he’s just met, but she really doesn’t have an issue with it and snuggles into his side a bit.

They’re nearly done with the game when she looks over to Kylo and sees something strangely intense in his eyes. Once they make eye contact, the long arm that Kylo has around her shoulders drops to her waist and he hauls her bodily into his lap, arms wrapping around her possessively. Rey can’t help but let out a little squeak of surprise, and Finn’s head whips over to the two of them, head tilted in confusion.

“Okay, Kylo, there’s plenty of room on the couch, we don’t need to double up to fit,” she says, letting out a too-loud laugh in the now palpably tense room.

She can’t see his face, but she feels the rumble in Kylo’s chest as he speaks, voice even and cold. “Maybe you should tell that to your _friend_ ,” he says, and something in Rey’s mind clicks suddenly. Is Kylo really _jealous_ of Finn?

She grabs Kylo’s wrists to pull his arms off from around her and stands up, bright red Nintendo controller still in hand. “What are you talking about, Kylo?”

“You two were sitting close enough together to for you to basically be in his lap, Rey. I’m not blind,” he says, voice still eerily calm and his face neutral, but his dark eyes are boring into hers, flicking over to where Finn’s sitting from time to time. Rey opens her mouth to answer, but Kylo holds up a hand to silence her. He continues, voice rising in volume as his anger apparently gets the better of him, “I know we aren’t in an exclusive relationship and I don’t own you, but it would have been nice to have a heads up that you and your _best friend_ are --”

Rey cuts him off with a sharp glare and another too-loud laugh. “Oh my god, Kylo, Finn and I are just friends,” she says, voice pitching high with her surprise and indignation.

“The kind of friends without benefits,” Finn adds hastily.

They all turn when they hear Finn’s door open, a sleepy looking Poe stepping out of the bedroom with his hair mussed and sweatpants riding low on his hips. “What’s all this fuss about? I heard yelling.”

“And now who is this? Another man you live with and cuddle with on the couch?” Kylo glares at Poe, and if Rey wasn’t pissed at Kylo for acting like a dick to her friends, she thinks she’d have to laugh at the total absurdity of the situation.

Poe walks to up Kylo, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants with a nod of acknowledgement and a lopsided grin at the taller man. “Poe Dameron, Air Force pilot, friend of Rey, and Finn’s _boyfriend_.”

Kylo’s face seems to flicker through a number of emotions in rapid succession. Anger shifts to surprise, then recognition and finally embarrassment, a flush rising on his cheeks. “Oh, shit,” he says, voice quiet and suddenly very meek. “You’re gay.”

Rey isn’t able to hold back her laugh now, even though she knows it’ll probably just make Kylo feel worse. “I _told_ you they were together, Kylo,” Rey says, crossing her arms.

“You told me something like ‘Poe’s always over at our place when he’s on leave’ and ‘he and Finn are adorable’, you didn’t tell me they were a _gay couple_ , Rey!”

Finn and Poe are laughing now, too. “Doesn’t that kind of make it sound like we’re a gay couple to you?” Poe says, catching his breath between laughs.

“Damnit, I’m really awful at picking up on that kind of stuff, I’m sorry,” Kylo says, running a hand through his hair nervously and exposing an ear burning red with his embarrassment. “I’m just really awful at interacting with people in general and I’m sorry I came here and was a total asshole, I’ll just go and you all can -- “

Poe’s the first one to reach out the figurative olive branch, turning to give Kylo a pat on the back and saying with his usual confident voice, “It’s alright, man, shit happens. Just don’t do it again and maybe have a talk with Rey soon about your relationship’s boundaries, alright?” Poe gives Rey a wink and she responds with an appreciative nod. She isn’t exactly pleased with how Kylo had acted, but she tried to look at it from his perspective and realize that he had just misunderstood the situation. He wouldn’t have needed to react in such a prick-ish way, but still. Rey would have him _make it up to her_ later, she decided.

“So, apology accepted then. Who’s ready to play some Super Smash Brothers and get their ass handed to them?” Poe says, moving to put in the game and handing out controllers. Rey lets out a sigh of relief and the four of them settle onto the too-small couch, squished together almost to the point of being uncomfortable, things quickly dissolving into a flurry of good-natured taunting and laughter.

After that, Kylo becomes a regular at their place just as much as Rey’s been a regular over at his apartment over the past couple of months. There’s always a weird undercurrent of competition between Finn and the taller man, but Rey doesn’t really mind because she gets to spend time with her two best friends simultaneously - and it certainly makes their board game nights more entertaining.

 

* * *

 

The semester ends, Rey passing all her classes with flying colors as she had predicted (and worked her ass off in order to do). She gets a summer waitressing job, needing the money and something to keep her busy so she doesn’t just dick around all summer, although it’s tempting to do so.

Kylo asks her to be his girlfriend for what’s probably the fiftieth time on a warm May evening - they’d taken a trip to a lake just outside of town, spending a few hours sitting on the public beach dock talking and skipping rocks. As the sun was setting, Kylo stood up and pulled her with him, interlacing their fingers as they walked barefoot in the sand. He’d turned to her and started telling her about how much she had changed his life for the better, how she had encouraged him to be a better person and finally step back and think about what he wanted to do with his life. The sun was setting in the background, waves lapping gently on the sand, and Rey felt like the whole thing belonged in a damn Lifetime movie or a Hallmark card - it was a little ridiculous, really - but when the words she’d heard so many times before tumbled past his lips, she was helpless to say anything other than _yes_ this time.

It was corny as shit, really, but Rey couldn’t bring herself to care at all when she embraced him and kissed him senseless on the beach with the sun setting in the background.

 

* * *

 

It’s a regular summer weekend afternoon when she gets the text from Kylo. _My parents want to meet you._

Rey almost throws her phone, she’s so surprised. She and Kylo had been what Finn and Poe would call “official” (with the air quotes and all, really) for about two weeks now. Rey couldn’t deny she was curious about Kylo’s family, but she had never been in a serious enough relationship where she actually had to _meet the parents_ before and the thought made her a little apprehensive. What if they didn’t like her?

“Okay, you just jumped about three feet off the ground. What’s the text say?” Finn asks, ever-observant. They’re sitting at the park, patchwork quilt spread under the shade of an elm. They’d played some frisbee earlier, then abandoned the game in favor of reading in the shade, the mid-day heat and sun getting a bit too stifling for physical activity.

“None of your business, nosy,” she laughs. Finn raises an eyebrow, clearly letting her know that he thinks it most certainly _is_ his business. And, really, Rey would expect him to dish out about Poe if the situation was reversed, so it was only fair that she shared.

“Fine, fine. Kylo just texted me saying his mom and dad want to meet me,” she says, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole thing but probably failing completely. She can’t really hide much from Finn anyway, he knows her tics too well by now.

Eyes wide and eyebrows raised in surprise, Finn puts down the book he’d been reading and turns to face her fully. “Oh my god, Rey, like that’s serious relationship type of stuff. You going to do it?”

She looks to Finn, who’s smiling at her like he already knows the answer. Which, to be fair, he probably does. Rey sighs, her best friend letting out a laugh, her answer unspoken but clear as she picks her phone back up to send a response to Kylo.

 

Her boyfriend picks her up mid-morning the following Tuesday. Rey’s got the day off for her waitressing gig and Kylo’s still unemployed, trying to decide what he _really_ wants to do for a living, so they had the weekday open to make the trip.

Kylo’s wearing some sort of a blazer with his dark jeans and when Rey gets in the car and sees how well dressed he is for their visit, she goes in to change despite his insistence that she _looks fine, really_ . She’s not going to show up in leggings and a t-shit if Kylo is dressed like he’s in some sort of a Calvin Klein ad. She’s got a few nice summer dresses, ones that are comfortable and look nice without being too dressy or too casual, so she picks one and rushes back out to the car. “You look really beautiful,” Kylo says as she slides into the passenger seat again, the tall man leaning over to catch her lips with his as Rey mumbles a _thanks_ and feels her cheeks go a bit pink.

They chat on the way to Kylo’s parents, which is thankfully only a two hour drive. Not that she minds being in the car with Kylo, but being in the car in general makes her restless and it certainly doesn’t help that she’s pretty nervous for what will happen when they actually _get_ to their destination. Blessedly, Rey’s been given control of the stereo for this trip. When they had made the hour and a half drive to an amusement park a couple of weeks ago, Kylo had picked the music and she had to listen to him sing (off-key, mostly) through two entire My Chemical Romance albums - _Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge_ on the way there and _The Black Parade_ on the way back. She still couldn’t decide whether the experience had been more hilarious or horrifying. This time she had settled on shuffling all the Beck songs in her library, figuring it was probably one of the only places where their music tastes might overlap a bit.

During the ride, Rey asks about Kylo’s family a bit; she knows a bit about them from what Kylo’s told her previously, but she just wants to know what to expect today in hopes it might make her feel a little more at ease. His father had been quite sick with a tough strain of pneumonia when Kylo had left his job and reconciled with his family, but he had thankfully recovered his health. Rey suspects his recovery might have been helped along by Kylo coming back into his parents’ lives, but Kylo has brushed the idea off, claiming it had just been coincidentally good timing. Han was a handyman, mechanic, entrepreneur, and generally a jack-of-all-trades - or at least that’s how Kylo had described him. He had also told Rey that his dad is very sarcastic and makes bad jokes, which wasn’t surprising to her in the least considering how well she knew his son. Han’s long-time best friend and business partner, Chewbacca, was an honorary family member - Kylo’s godfather and essentially a second uncle, so he would most likely be around today when they visited.

Kylo describes his mother Leia as being tough, no-nonsense, and resilient but one of the kindest people he has ever known. Rey thinks she'll like Leia a lot, considering her admiration for strong women in general - she sounds like the kind of woman she had always wished she could have as her own mother. Kylo’s uncle Luke is off traveling, Kylo explained, doing some volunteer work in a remote part of Iceland, so Rey won't get to meet the man today. It makes her feel a tiny bit better to know that she isn't seeing Kylo’s _entire_ family for the first time in one go, anyway.

The dark-haired man in the driver’s seat reaches his hand across the center console and pulls her hand out of her lap, entwining their fingers over her knee. “Thanks again for coming with,” he says, sparing a quick glance her way before returning his eyes to the road. “I tried to talk my mom out of the whole thing, really. I mean, not that I don’t think you should meet them or anything, but I didn’t want you to feel pressured. She wouldn’t leave me alone about it, though,” he finishes with a little smile and a shake of his head.

“I’m actually pretty excited to meet them. Pretty nervous, but still excited,” Rey responds, tracing her thumb over the back of his hand absentmindedly. “I’m _especially_ excited to hear a bunch of embarrassing stories about little Ben and look at your old family photos,” she finishes, wicked grin on her face as Kylo lets out a groan of protest.

 

Standing at the Organa-Solo’s front door after they’ve rung the doorbell, Rey’s heart feels like it’s going about a thousand beats per minute. Kylo’s holding her hand, thankfully, and she thinks he can probably tell how nervous she is but doesn’t want to point it out because it he knows it would just make her _more_ nervous. First impressions can be so important, and Rey really, really wants Kylo’s family to like her.

The door swings open and a short woman with an elaborate braided hairstyle beams and waves them in. “Ben, dear, so good to see you again,” she says into the tall man’s chest as she pulls him in for a crushing hug. He pats her back as he returns the hug, but Rey notes with amusement that his face is coloring at the display of affection and the use of his given name. They’ve just gotten in the door, but Rey is already beginning to think this visit was a _very good_ idea after all.

“You too, mom,” he says, pulling back and clearing his throat a bit. “And this is --”

The older woman turns to Rey, smile on her kindly and graceful face, and lays a hand on her shoulder. “Rey, of course,” she says, smoothly interrupting her son and pulling Rey into a brief but warm hug. Her eyes widen a bit in surprise, but she takes in a calming breath and hugs the shorter woman back. “So good to finally meet you, we’ve heard so much from Ben about you. He’s spoken a lot about the ‘beautiful, firey, smart, and stubborn’ girl he met at the gym - that’s how you described her, right Ben?” Kylo’s mother says, a definite twinkle in her eye as she looks at Rey.

Kylo’s cheeks are a bright red now, and he opens and closes his mouth a few times, no response coming out at first. He reaches a hand to the back of his neck, mumbling “I don’t remember, exactly -- but I told you, mom, it’s _Kylo_ now, I don’t go by Ben anymore.”

“Well to me, you’ll always be Ben,” she says with a wry grin, and Rey has the feeling that if Leia were taller or Kylo was shorter, she would have ruffled his hair to accompany the statement. “Now, let’s get you two something to eat. Chewbacca and Han are just finishing putting together lunch and they’ve been looking forward to seeing you both.”

 

Lunch is an interesting affair. The two older men had cooked some sort casserole, which is delicious, but Rey can hardly get any in her mouth between all the laughing and talking going on at the table. Han and Chewbacca banter back and forth, the latter with a booming voice and some sort of thick accent of an origin that Rey can’t quite identify. Much to Rey’s delight, everyone seems to have gotten onboard with Rey’s plan to try and fluster Kylo (good-naturedly, of course) with embarrassing stories from his childhood.

The dark haired man slouches in his chair, tips of his ears red where Rey can see them just barely peeking out from his long locks. He's trying to maintain a scowl even though it slips from time to time when a particularly funny anecdote is shared and he can’t help but let out a chuckle. Kylo tries to give as good as he gets, quiping at his dad at one point, “Well, _dad_ , I don’t think you’re one to make fun of _me_ for my fashion choices as a preteen when you’ve been wearing the same ugly old vest since the nineteen seventies.”

Chewbacca lets out roaring laugh (or maybe it’s a laughing roar, Rey can’t decide) at Kylo’s comeback and Han raises his eyebrows, mock-affront showing on his face. “This vest is _timeless_ and _classic_ , you take that back!”

Rey and Leia roll their eyes at the men’s antics, Rey shaking with silent laughter. She can’t believe she was actually nervous to meet these people, that she worried they wouldn’t like her. Warmth blooms in her chest at the feeling of acceptance, the feeling of being included and welcome in this little family gathering - and especially at the idea that she had helped to convince Kylo to come back to this, that he _could_ come back to this.

 

After lunch, Rey is giddily flipping through Kylo’s baby albums, the tall man pressed up close to her on the couch with Leia on her other side, adding commentary and pointing out the people that appear in the photos or the location they had been taken.

“Oh my god, look at how adorable you were!” Rey’s pointing at a photo of a two-year old Kylo, still chubby with baby fat, clutching at a stuffed bear while he sleeps. Leia leans in to examine the photo more closely, a warm smile spreading across her face.

“You were always a deep sleeper, Ben. You needed your little stuffed bear - you called him ‘Ewok’, remember? - to fall asleep, though. I think I still have the old thing around here somewhere,” Kylo’s mother says, grinning over at Rey. The younger woman chuckles, flipping to the next page - it’s a photo of a slightly older Kylo riding on a tricycle, a dashingly handsome and young Han chasing behind his son.

Looking at these old photos makes Rey’s heart clench in an odd way. She knows that pictures like this from her childhood don’t really exist - or if they do, the locations and faces in them are constantly changing, there's no overarching theme of love and family and _belonging_ like there is with the Organa-Solo’s family photo album. Looking at the pictures doesn’t make her feel particularly sad, though, and she can’t quite pinpoint why.

Maybe it’s that this glimpse into Kylo’s past and his family’s past makes her feel more connected to them at the same time that it reinforces the differences in their upbringings. As she sits squished between Kylo and his mother, with Han and Chewbacca’s raucous conversation and laughter drifting to them from the kitchen, Rey has the strongest sense of _home_ she can remember feeling in a very long time.

 

She and Kylo get back to his apartment in the early evening, Rey flopping onto his couch once they get in and pulling the tall man down with her to tangle their limbs together. “So, do you think they liked me?” she asks, threading her fingers through his dark hair as she throws a leg over his waist.

“Are you kidding? They loved you,” Kylo says, chuckling. “While we were there, both my mom and my dad approached me separately to let me know that they think you're a real keeper.”

A smile breaks out on her face at his words. She had gotten the impression that they liked her, of course, but hearing it from Kylo makes it even better. “And what about you,” she says, hand smoothing over his jaw, “do _you_ think I’m a keeper?”

He answers with a deep kiss at first, large hand cupping the back of her neck. He pulls back just slightly, lips quirking up in a lopsided grin and whispering against hers as he answers. “Oh, I’m definitely keeping you, Rey, for as long as you’ll have me.”

 

* * *

 

_Four Months Later_

 

It’s 3:05 on a Thursday, and Rey’s at Resistance gym - as is to be expected. There’s a bit of a chill in the autumn air, and she hangs up her light sweatshirt inside the locker after she’d changed. She’s turned her favorite workout playlist on, and the familiar sights, sounds, and scents of the weight room erase any tension she was still carrying after a busy day of college classes.

Kylo’s already lifting, she sees, and Rey shakes her head at him as she approaches the tall man dressed in all black. He lifts one side of his headphones from his ear, flashing her a grin. “Hey, you don’t have to go off on me, I was just keeping the bench warm for you, I swear,” he says, picking up the pair of dumbbells he’d been using and moving them to the next bench over to clear up her spot.

“You’re a dirty spot thief and you know it, Kylo,” she responds, grabbing her own pair of weights to start her first set of bicep curls. “But I guess I can find it in me to forgive you this time,” she deadpans, and Kylo shoots her a lopsided grin before putting his headphones back over his ears and resuming his workout. They complete their reps and sets, moving around each other and exchanging smiles when their eyes meet.

Sometimes it all seems so funny and surreal to Rey - that she had ended up with the guy she had met at the gym, the one who had seemed like such a dick but had turned out to be such a sweetheart. She knew she was falling in love with him - hell, she probably _was_ already in love with him - if someone had told her eight months ago that she’d end up in a serious relationship with the guy who usurped her weightlifting bench spot, she would have laughed in their face.

But here they are, two people who had been broken and put themselves back together. Things weren’t always perfect, of course - Kylo still could be a moody ass and get weirdly jealous and possessive, and Rey was still fighting that lingering fear of commitment, the fear that anyone who came into her life would just fade away eventually. They could - and did - work through it, though. It was still early, but she could sense that they were in this for the long haul.

She finishes up her lifting routine and sees that Kylo is doing the same, heading over to the row of exercise machines to snag one of the open treadmills. She reracks the weights and sprays down the bench and bar with disinfectant, wiping them clean with a rag and grabbing her water bottle to stride over to where Kylo’s already jogging on the exercise machine.

He slings his headphones around the back of his neck as she approaches, pausing the machine to step down next to her. “So, your place or mine tonight?” he says, voice pitched low and eyes sparking with an even mixture of affection, arousal, and mirth as he speaks the familiar line.

“Finn left after class to go to Poe’s for a three-day weekend, so we can go to mine,” she responds, and he gives her a nod.

The tall man bends down to plant a quick peck on her cheek, and the slightest tinge of pink rises to her face as he pulls away. “Great, then we can be as loud as we want and fuck on the couch again,” he says, voice almost as smug as the smirk on his face as his eyes rake up and down her body appreciatively.

She swats at his arm, whisper-shouting, “quiet, Kylo, we’re at the gym for fuck’s sake,” but they both know she’s on the exact same page as he is. He laughs, jumping back up on the treadmill and starting it up again.

“Alright, then, have fun with the heavy bag and I’ll see you in thirty out front. Try to save a little strength for later,” he says as she shakes her head and walks away, a big grin spreading over her face.

It’s funny to Rey how some things change and some stay exactly the same, and as she channels her temporary sexual frustration into vicious jabs and hooks at the punching bag, she can’t help but be reminded of how she had done this exact same thing all those months ago when she first saw the brooding and very attractive guy who seemed to be hellbent to throw off her gym routine. _He’s still pretty much an arrogant prick_ , she thinks, determined smile on her face as her fists and feet rain blows down on the bag, _But he’s_ my _arrogant prick now_.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much to all of you who came along for the ride with me on this fic! I'm still not sure how my little idea became this monstrosity but I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)
> 
> drop by and say hi on my [tumblr](http://mster70.tumblr.com)!

**Author's Note:**

> this is what the [altitude training masks](http://cdn2.bigcommerce.com/server5400/hroh71l/product_images/uploaded_images/ml-artw-raiders620x349.jpg?t=1413268523) look like - I couldn't resist having Kylo wear one for obvious reasons :)
> 
>  
> 
> I'd love to get some feedback because I know this is an oddly specific AU (and I really don't work out all that much so I'm not sure where this even came from)!


End file.
